Equinox
by Emba
Summary: Twilight with a twist. Bella is a century old vampire and Edward is just moving to Forks. What kind of life did Bella and Edward lead before each other? What will happen when they meet?
1. Chapter One

**Equinox**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyers owns it all.

Authors Note: This has been floating in my head for a while. I've recently gotten in to the books and felt like indulging the plot bunnies that hop through my brain. This story will be a role-reversal but told a little differently. I'll have both Bella and Edward POV's. It will be Twilight with a twist.

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I was a normal girl once. I had a father and mother. I was loved.

I had a future… a dead end one….but a future, no less. I wasn't going places per say, but I was a promising prospect to my parents.

One moment changed everything. My eyes met a pair of strange, unfamiliar ones.

Frightening eyes.

And yet when he leaned in to me, his heavenly scent floating through me, dazzling me…his mouth descending on to my neck, his eyes a blood red, boring in to mine… I was not afraid. It was as if I knew I was dying.

Most of my human life I can scarcely remember. My tenth birthday… the smell of my mothers hair… what color eyes my father had…. All gone.

But not all things can be erased by time.

--

_Bella_

**London, England  
December 1872**

I was sixteen and as klutzy as a newborn calf. My father would laugh about it but my mother was completely baffled. How would I attract a suitor if I wasn't graceful?

I was not the most beautiful of girls. My hair was a dull brown and I had eyes that matched them but my father always said I had a cute nose and my mother's full lips. I was somewhat of a catch, you might say. No breathtaking beauty, but certainly above average.

My father was a police officer which made him somewhat of an important man, especially when he was rising in the ranks. We were having a gathering… a party for him. It was his birthday…yes, that was it.

It wasn't the social event of neither the year nor the month but my mother was hopeful I would attract some man of importance to (eventually) propose to me. But in all actuality, it was my mother who spent the night attracting men. She was exuberant and a flirt, whereas I was nothing of the sort. I was shy… almost painfully so. I enjoyed living in the fairytales and compelling stories that lie in the books I read, rather than actually engaging in my life. I did what I was told and only dreamed about what other lives I could have lived. My life was planned out… marriage and children. Dead end.

I never thought of it as a dead end at the time. It was simply what I was _supposed_ to be. There was no way around it and no use in moping over it. And… maybe it wouldn't be so bad. My mother seemed to enjoy it. I followed the rules quite well and had no acts of rebellion in mind because this was just _how life was._ There was no other way.

My mother threw herself in to the party, like she usually did with these kinds of things. The house was spotless, the food was delectable, and the music was above par. She loved being center of attention, soaking up every glance. I remember watching her in awe, wondering how I came from a woman so different from myself.

The usual guests were there except one who was not, in any sense of the word, usual.

He was beautiful. You don't casually call a _man_ beautiful. Handsome, yes… But beautiful is not so commonly used. That is the only word to describe him. Most everyone stared at him as he waltzed through the room with a rare grace. He was tall, with broad shoulders and a sturdy, muscular body. His hair was an exceptional form of blonde, almost like sun-kissed barley. His skin was porcelain. As I walked uncomfortably around the familiar faces of my parent's acquaintances and friends alike, I watched him. I wondered who he was and what on earth he was doing here. A small party in an unimportant family's home…he seemed so out of place. He was impeccably dressed with an upper-class air about him.

Then, as fate would have it, our eyes met. His eyes were the most unusual eyes I had ever seen. A dark red. It frightened me at first, as I stared so lost in his molten eyes. Like a black lava. Suddenly, he was beside me, towering over me.

"Hello," He smiled graciously but his eyes were mischievous.

I could not form a thought. This god, this Adonis, was speaking to me. I had talked to young men before but, this was no young man. He was perhaps in his mid to late twenties…making him reasonably ten years older than any other boy I'd ever spoken to. "Hello," I murmured, my breath returning momentarily.

"What is your name, love?" His eyes never left mine.

What was it again? "Isabella." I could feel the blood pumping in my veins.

He smiled a most wicked smirk. "Beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

I had no words. How does one respond to that, really? As I stared at him, he winked and was off and out the door. I felt a pout form on my face. Where was he going? I took a step to follow him when a strange, unsettling feeling sat heavily in my stomach. Somewhere in my brain a voice told me to stay put. The voice was frightened. I took a deep breath and felt my heart jumping in his direction. Another part of my brain begged me to follow him. What risks had I ever taken in my life? None. And how harmless could this be?

I politely scurried through the people, their voices blurred in to one. I couldn't get out of my home faster; I could scarcely stop myself from running. It's ironic how quickly I hurried to meet my death. How very foolish.

I stepped in to the darkness and turned in every direction, looking for some sign. A shadow passed me, behind the house. I followed it without question.

It was darker in the back, no light but the moon. I stopped following and turned to the moon. My heart was jumping still, seemingly searching for my mysterious companion. He stepped toward me. The moon bounced on his pale skin and he looked like an angel. I took a sharp in take of breath, and let it out shakily. He smiled.

"Isabella…" He was in front of me quickly, almost too quickly.

His frozen hands caressed my face. His eyes skimmed my features and his icy hands slid around my neck and then down to my waist. I was fairly aware that I wasn't breathing. He leaned in, his scene intoxicating. He smelled like a summer night on a meadow, surrounded by thousands of flowers. I stared up at him. He drew me toward him and lowered his lips to mine. The kiss was a shock of hot and cold, fire and ice. My skin was in flames as his tongue traced my lower lip. When he drew back, he chuckled as I gasped for air.

"Yes, Isabella." He said, almost as if I asked a question.

Then, his hands were at my throat, stroking it. I closed my eyes.

"Keep them open," He whispered in my ear, his lips grazing my ear lobe. His voice was delighted.

I watched as he smiled genially and descended upon my neck, his teeth barred.

After that, there was only pain.

--

_Edward_

**Forks Washington  
September 2008**

"Well, here we are."

"Oh, Edward it's lovely! We'd never find this in the city!"

"Yes, Elizabeth… I thought you'd like it."

"Like it? The pictures hardly did it justice!"

Please. Spare me the juiced-up excitement Mom; it's just a goddamn house. Sure, it's bigger than the apartment in Chicago, but we're in _Forks_. FORKS. A place named after numerous dinner-utensils. I'd rather live in a box in Chicago than in a mansion in a town named after _silverware._

My mother turned to me, beaming with zeal. "Honey, what do you think? You'll have so much more room now!"

For what? What do I need room for? "It's great, Mom." My response was less than enthusiastic. Her face fell.

"Oh, you… you and your eternal pessimism. You'll see that this will be a great move!" And she's up again. If I could describe my mother in one word it would be _exclamation point. _Okay, that's two words but you get my point. I feel like they were invented for her to use at will.

My mother's enthusiasm was rubbing off on my father. He smiled at me in the rearview mirror. "C'mon Junior, perk up! You start school tomorrow."

Thanks, Dad. That's exactly the reminder I need when I'm already in a bad moon. I skulked at his happy face in the mirror.

My father was a popular doctor in Chicago, a revered man whose skill had led him to top positions and with that top dollar. But, as the years went on my mother grew restless of my fathers late night working and round-the-clock beeper and cell. I knew that he also was tired of being too busy. He barely spent time with either of us. That's when they thought of the worst idea ever. My mother proposed we move to a small town where my father can work as he pleases and I can get away from troubling city life. Hah! I had never gotten in trouble with the "city life" ever. It was all a big ploy to get out of Chicago.

Anyway, my mother found Forks and my father found the house. And so… new school, new town, new house.

We all vacated the car, bags slung over our backs. My mother had already arranged the furniture (all new, top brand stuff) to be delivered and moved to the exact point she liked. It wasn't a huge house but it was above average. It was white with tall pillars out front and a wrap-around porch. It had an old air about it with a fresh coat of paint. I sighed. I missed our swanky apartment.

That night I couldn't sleep and not because of the whole new town, new room, new bed situation but because it was so _silent_. Years of living in the city I learned to fall asleep to the sound of cars passing by, honking… people yelling and laughing below me. Here, there was no sound. Not a single noise.

School in the morning… I groaned as I turned on to my back, staring at the pale ceiling. This was the worst move my mother had ever made.

--

I woke up early with barely five hours of sleep under my belt. I heaved a sigh and ventured through the new house. My mother, Elizabeth, was already awake. She was humming a show tune and making breakfast. Blueberry pancake smiley faces. My favorite. I sighed again, knowing she was just trying to make this day better for me and I was only making it harder for her.

"Your favorite, Edward! I even made some bacon and scrambled eggs, just the way you like 'em." Her smile was nearly infectious. If I hadn't been thinking about the day ahead of me I might've smile.

"Thanks, Mom. You really didn't have to do all this." It wasn't unusual that my mom would make breakfast. With my father bringing in such a large income, she never had to get a job, which I figured leaves ample amounts of time for whatever the hell you want. She liked to cook.

"Oh, don't be silly. I always make you breakfast. And it is your first day, after all. I want to make it special." And with that she slid a plate in front of me with five huge blueberry smiley-faced pancakes (I still don't know how she gets the blueberries to form the smile), a handful of bacon, and a large serving of eggs. I was not nearly hungry enough for this but I figured it was the least I could do to eat it all. With a smile/grimace, I dug in.

I'm not very social. Actually, I'm barely social at all. I had friends in Chicago, yes, but those were acquired through years and years of school. And here I am now, the new kid. I had never been the new kid before but I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

First day of school here I come.

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Pretty please review. With a cherry on top. I'm dying to know if anyone will read this. Tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter Two

I'm really excited that some people seem to like this story so far. I hope that you keep liking it!

And although Bella and Edward don't meet in this chapter they will be interacting soon. I'm going to be telling some of Bella's back story first. Enjoy the chapter!

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_Edward_

**Forks, Washington  
September 2008**

My father, Edward Senior, refused to by me a fancy car. Actually, he refused to by me a car at all. In the city, it really wasn't a necessity but here in Forks I knew I would need one. He huffed at me when I asked, saying, "Junior, you are seventeen years old. When I was seventeen, I had to ride a bike to and from my after school job. You want a car than you're on your own."

Yeah, okay Dad. What I didn't say (but should have) was, "That was a hundred years ago. Times have changed old man."

So I bought the cheapest piece of crap I could find that ran. I did odd jobs for one of my dad's buddies during the school year and I decided to save the money rather than spend. It wasn't much but my '94 mustang was my child. I cleaned it up a bit and now it was a shiny piece of crap that barely ran. Still, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I frowned at the sky as I jumped in my car. Cloudy. A heavy fog settled through the town making my hair and face wet. Forks was every bit as gloomy as I felt.

I ran a hand through my hair, touching it for the first time since last night. Most new kids would've probably dressed up or at least _tried _to look nice for the first day. I was definitely not most new kids.

Forks High School was nothing compared to my huge high school in Chicago. It was designed of three small buildings; one (I assumed) was the gym and the other two for classes. Thankfully, I was early. I wasn't eager to have people's eyes on me all day so whatever way I could put it off longer was better.

I entered the main building and found my way to the administration office. A woman in her late forties sat with her hair in a scary bleached bob. She had blue eye shadow on her small eyes and a floral print dress. She smiled warmly at me as I entered, her teeth a disarming white. "Hello, can I help you?"

"Um, yeah… I'm Edward Masen. I'm new." That, I suspected, was the sentence that I would repeat numerously throughout the day.

"Ah, yes! Doctor Masen's son. We've been hearing so much about his great work in Chicago, it's an honor to have him here." She paused, "I'm Mrs. Helby. Here's your roster…" She handed me a small paper with my schedule. She continued to ramble on excitedly about my father and the hospital but I was too lost in my thoughts to pay attention.

Then, I heard the shuffle of feet in the hallway behind me and realized I had only five minutes to class. I politely said thanks and goodbye to the woman and went off in search of my class. Mrs. Helby had mercifully pointed out that my first class, Algebra II, was just down the hall. I walked to class, feeling every eye as I passed. Girls whispered and guys grumbled to each other. A new kid in a small town was big news obviously.

--

My first three classes were pretty simple. I was a week behind, but most things were fairly catch-up-able. I sat in the back and no teacher made me go through the painful torture that is introducing yourself to the class. In the midst of this, I had made a "friend". Jessica was a small, curly haired girl who sat in the row in front of me in History. She had leaned back in her chair to get a look at me.

"Hi, you must be Ed Masen." She smiled and fluttered her eyes lashes. She was cute but her eyes held a strange edge to them. It was like she wasn't just being friendly to the new kid…Like there was some ulterior motive behind it.

"Um, Edward actually." I had always gone as Edward. Partially because I hated "Ed" and partially because I just didn't look like anything other than _Edward. _My mother said I had an old soul feel about me.

Her face fell with embarrassment for a mere second before she bounced back. "Oh, right. I'm Jessica Stanley." She then went on to snatch my class schedule and squeal that we have three more classes together. I forced a smile but was thankful that I'd found a friendly face.

--

At lunch I had barely bought my food before Jessica had found me. She took me by the arm and sat me right next to her at her lunch table. I looked around awkwardly and noticed a few faces from my earlier classes.

"Everyone, this is Edward." She paused before launching into full-scale introductions. Every name was lost as she spouted them out quicker than I could look at them. When she stopped, I noticed everyone staring at me expectantly.

I shrugged. "Hey."

That, I guess, was enough for them. Most of them went about their business again. I stared at them all talking animatedly to each other, looking like they'd all been friends forever. I felt the small nagging of jealousy in my head… I missed Chicago and the people I left in it. I didn't have a huge group of friends but they were people I've known for years. They knew me better than my parents.

Jessica turned her whole body to me, ignoring her food. I could almost see the thoughts in her head. I frowned, noticing her body language and general flirting. I wasn't good at flirting... or dating, for that matter. But I guess you can't be bad at something you've never tried.

I wasn't what you would call a ladies man but Jessica looked really interested in me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable… I'd never been so blatantly flirted with before. Actually, I don't think I've been flirted with at all before. Not that I'm hideous or anything but I consider myself pretty average looking.

That's when I noticed them. All train of thought ceased. I stopped talking to Jessica to stare as they entered.

There were five of them walking in a pack: three girls and two boys. They were unbelievably graceful as they walked through the cafeteria. All five of them were decked out in expensive looking clothes with perfectly coifed hair. It looked like they were models arriving on set for their next photo shoot. I gaped.

The kid across from me followed my eyes and laughed jovially at my expression. He scratched his blonde hair and turned back to me. "Who're they?" I asked before he could speak.

"The Cullens. They were all adopted by Doctor and Mrs. Cullen. They just moved here last year." I watched them as he named them off. "Emmett's the big guy," My eyes found the body of a hulking man (you really couldn't call him a boy) with curly brown hair and arms the size of my leg. "Rosalie Hale is the blonde..." Rosalie sat next to Emmett, her red lips in a pout as she curled a blonde hair around her fingers. "Jasper's the other blonde. He and Rosalie are twins." Jasper was long and slender but still had supple muscle showing beneath his grey sweater. "Alice is the short one," Alice was laying a hand on Jasper's shoulder, who looked slightly distressed. She was petite and had short, dark, inky hair that pointed in every direction. She looked like a fairy. "Those four are...together, if you catch my drift."

I watched the last Cullen seat herself quietly, not drawing attention from any of the others. She played with a fork idly, looking extremely bored. Her long hair was a dark chocolate with a deliberate wave to it. She had fair skin—almost too fair—with full pink lips. Her face was heart shaped and while she wasn't as petite as Alice she had a definite delicate quality to her. She was beautiful. Breathtaking even. I couldn't tear my eyes away. "Who's that?"

The guy looked back again and suddenly his happy demeanor soured. "Oh. Uh, that's Isabella Cullen."

Her eyes snapped up in our direction, almost like she heard us. Her eyes, a charred amber color, found mine. Almost as quickly as she had seen me she suddenly looked away, looking disinterested. I frowned.

"They're all pretty anti-social... well, with anyone except for each other. They think they're better than everyone." He sounded annoyed again. I tore my eyes away to look at him. I was good at reading people; I prided myself on it. I suspected this guy had been turned down by one of the Cullen girls and since two were already taken that only left one.

He shrugged. "I'm Mike Newton, by the way." Taking a bite of his pizza, he looked friendly again.

I smiled at him. "So…They all live together?" I couldn't help being weirdly curious.

"Yeah. They live in some huge mansion out in the woods somewhere. No one's ever seen it." This seemed to be a source of town gossip. Go figure.

I heard a feminine scoff beside me. Jessica's usually bright flirty voice sounded angry. Jealousy. People were easy to read. "Don't pay attention to the Cullen's, Edward. They don't give anyone the time of day. They're freaks."

I nearly laughed. The _freaks_ in my old school were overly-depressed batch of people who wrote suicide poems for class assignments and were made fun of by the most beautiful people in school... and now at my new school the _freaks_ _were_ the most beautiful people in school. This town has got to be the weirdest place I've ever been.

I turned to look at the Cullen's again. None of them were speaking or eating. They all looked tired and irritable. I saw that they also shared the same smooth, painfully pale skin. My eyes landed on the lone Cullen, Isabella, as she looked out the window in to the world with a wistful gaze.

--

_Bella_

**Paris, France  
April 1874**

"Tonight is the night, Isabella. Are you ready?"

I smiled up at him as I spread red rouge on my lips. I sat at the vanity, staring at myself in the mirror. "Of course." As he turned away with a wink, I frowned. My outward appearance was a deceiving mask. I looked calm, relaxed, and beautiful. Inside my stomach was in knots and my heart…my dead heart…was cold.

It had only been a little over a year since its last thump.

Nicholas, or Nicky as I called him, was my maker, my sire. He was the angel of death that kissed me before he took my life. After I awoke from the three day fire inside my skin, I found his face before me.

"What am I?" I said in a breathy voice. I sounded different. I _felt _different. Strong, like living stone.

The angel of death smiled coolly. He took my hand and pulled me off the bed I lay on and steered me in front of a long mirror. After a strange gasp escaped my throat, I simply stared. There I was, just as gorgeous and appealing as my killer himself. My dull brown hair, that was previously too thin to do anything with, was full and long with a beautiful hue that was so much richer than it used to be. My skin was porcelain, smooth and cold. I looked like a doll. That's when I looked in to my own eyes and realized I was no doll. The red orbs stared back at me. I was a monster.

Nicholas sat me down and explained to me what had happened. The venom he carried went in to my blood stream, literally burning the humanity out of me. I was a vampire.

The first year of my afterlife I could hardly control my insatiable hunger. Nicky did the hunting for me. I was unused to the kill, inexperienced and so eager for blood I probably would have slaughtered an entire room of people in broad day light. Nicky assured me it was normal among newborns. We traveled often the first year, staying from anywhere to high-end hotels to sleazy apartments. Nicholas would set out at night and always brought back someone for us to share.

That year the only thing I knew was my hunger. There was nothing else. No thoughts, no feelings, just thirst. Nicky promised this wouldn't last forever.

He was right. I was a little over a year old and I was feeling better. The thirst was always there, but not so consuming. I could stand to be around humans, to converse with them, to sit near them. It was getting easier. Nicky was delighted.

I had heard ghost stories of vampires as a child. They were soulless creatures that drank your blood. That's what I was: a _creature_. This was to be my life: killing innocents. Seducing them first, as Nicky instructed me, and then leading them to their death.

Nicky held a debonair charm about him, a delightful smirk and a unique sense of direction. He always steered us to our most delicious meals. He usually lived on a whim. He confided in me soon after my change that he had never intended to make me his mate. He was passing through the area and smelled something delightful. He followed the smell and came upon my quant home, thirsty and eager to kill. For some reason, he said, he was simply compelled by me... something inside him saw great things in me. I scoffed at the time. What was so great about me?

Tonight was my first kill. Nicolas had been testing me for months and we'd been going in to public more often to see how weak I was. This night, Nicky deemed, was the night. Nicholas had left me to choose our meal. All I had to do was lure him to our apartment. I was absolutely horrified.

Deep within me this felt wrong. But my thirst was so anxious, so overpowering… all other emotions were pushed aside. I was never anything close to seductive in my human life so this would certainly prove to be a challenge. I was nervous and I didn't want to let Nicky down. He was all I had.

Nicholas caught my uneasy look in the mirror and rested his hand on my neck. He brushed his fingers down my skin, light as a feather. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. He kissed where his hands had just been and then leaned to whisper in to my ear. "Don't be afraid, love… It's what you are made to do."

And then he kissed me hard on the lips, nearly knocking me over with its power. He hoisted me to my feet and carried me toward the bed. Just like that I forgot completely about my predicament.

--

Nicholas grew up in Paris years and years ago. He never did tell me how old he was or much of anything of his past, claiming his human memories were too hazy to really remember. But he had long since lost his French accent which led me to believe he was much older than me. He had also picked up English in all his travels. He was actually quite good at mimicking any brogue. But he taught me little… He easily got impatient. Nicky didn't think I would need to know much French to trick some poor fool in to following me. I wasn't so sure.

It was a cool spring night. The smell in the air was of flowers and food as I walked the streets. It wasn't very crowded but there was a small restaurant that got busy around this hour. Nicholas thought I'd find a suitable meal in there somewhere.

Although Nicky had successfully distracted me earlier now there was nothing between me and my thoughts. A vampire's mind works different than a humans. We are in every sense faster than a human pace and that includes the brain. My thoughts were literally a mile a minute as I entered the smoky restaurant. I took a breath full of air, smelling the people in the room. I looked around at the faces, all of them smiling and laughing. I suddenly wanted to turn around and escape at full speed. But I knew I couldn't abandon Nicky. I needed him. The outside world seemed a fearsome and vast place without guidance.

Thinking of Nicky made me concentrate harder. I had to do this. I had to pass this test. Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath. When I felt a pair of eyes on me and I looked up to find green eyes on mine. My feast had found me.

"_M'excuser, madame_." He smiled at me warmly. This green eyed man was not much older than I was. He had slick copper hair and a militia uniform on. "_Quel est une belle femme comme vous faisant ici seul_?" He stared at me as if I were something that fell out of the sky. I knew how good I must've looked and smelled to him. I still remembered how beautiful Nicholas was to human eyes.

I only knew a few words that he had said to me. I smiled my most innocent smile. "_Bonjour_," I paused. "_Je suis désolé, je ne parle pas le français_." I sounded genuinely apologetic.

He nodded but continued in broken English, "Ah, I see. What is a _beau _girl doing alone?"

I shrugged delicately, "I'm lost. Do you think you could help me?"

He grinned readily and held his arm out for me. I accepted it and told him where I was staying. He led me out of the smoke and in to the night. Whenever he would look down at me he would smile winningly. I smiled shyly back but when he looked away my grin faltered. Even with the perfume of his blood so close my thoughts were everywhere.

He stopped at the classy hotel Nicholas had planted us in. He nodded to it and let go of my arm. "Here we are _madame_."

I bit my lip. How to lure him up? I instantly remembered the late hour. "Would you mind walking me up?" I gestured to the hotel, pointing up the stairs. "It's terribly late."

He understood me and took my hand. We were walking up the staircase hand in hand. He shivered from my touch but didn't seem to mind after that. When we arrived I knew what I had to do.

We stopped at the door. The hall way was dimly lit but I could see every curve of his face. I gave him a small quirk of my lips and pulled him gently toward me. He obeyed, looking dreamy. I stood on my toes to reach his lips. My kiss was a soft, chaste one. I looked up at him and opened the door, slowly pulling him inside. My eyes never left his. I wondered briefly if he saw their lingering ruby tints or if they simply looked black to him.

The room was dark as I closed the door and pushed him against the wall. I kissed him again, this time with fervor and a lingering aggression that I hadn't had before. I put my hands on his cheeks and he shuddered. I looked at him again. His expressive green eyes were animate and excited. I thought that this must've been how I looked to Nicholas before he killed me. Alive…so very alive. I trembled and the boy put his arms around me. He thought I had shivered from the cold and he was trying to warm me. I wanted to cry but I knew I had no tears. Monsters don't cry.

My ears heard the rustle of clothes in the bedroom. I knew Nicky was waiting in the wings. The very thought of him shut off my mind. My thoughts were closed with a snap. I removed my brain from my body as I leaned to kiss this poor souls neck. He breathed heavily, the rush of the moment exhilarating to him. I listened to his blood pump beneath my lips and I breathed in his smell. When the burning in my throat roared angrily, I bit down on him. He gasped and moved to try and pry me off of him. His attempts were feeble compared to my vice grip. I blocked out the image of his lively vivid eyes that swam in my brain as I got my fill.

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Review, review, review!

**French Translations**_  
Excuse me, ma'am (or miss).__  
What is a beautiful woman like you doing here alone?__  
Hello. I'm sorry, I don't speak French.__Beautiful  
Ma'am, miss_


	3. Chapter Three

I already had majority of this chapter written so I thought I might as well just post it. I don't have the next one done so it might be a little bit before the next update.

* * *

_Bella_

**Manhattan, New York  
January 1900**

"Thirsty, darling?" Nicholas drawled; picking a pet name out of the long list of ones he usually called me.

I was. There was a pang inside of me that occurred with that realization. "Yes."

"Hmm... well, you've almost got your hooks in that banker... I'm sure we'll be full tonight." He put a large hand around my waist and leaned over to kiss my neck slowly. I sighed.

When Nicky used to kiss and touch me like this it was a sigh of pleasure... now, I felt nearly empty. Despite his gorgeous face and beautiful physique, I was less than moved by his teeth nibbling lightly on my ear.

It was soon after my first kill that I realized what I truly was, what I was doing. But what other way was there? This is what I was supposed to do, I figured. Just as I had planned my whole life according to what I was supposed to do as a woman in society, I assumed there was no other way to live beside this. I sought Nicky out for condolence—for advice—but he chuckled at me and patted my head as if I were a child. "My dear Isabella, this is what you are now. You are a predator, a killer. Just like any predator, you are made to take a life. To survive." I acknowledged this and tried to accept it. I was quite infatuated with Nicholas at first. What he said was law and so I shoved the guilt, my conscience, all the way out of my mind and let the predator take over.

Nicky and I were an unstoppable force, a pair so beautiful that neither man nor woman could stop themselves from staring at us.

When we pinpointed the human we were after, we would formulate a plan from there. Generally, we would split up and then meet later just in time for the kill. Mostly, I would seduce the men and Nicky vice versa. Sometimes, we used a united front.

Nicky had found a banker in his mid-thirties whose blood was absolutely heavenly, to me especially. He was unhappily married and passed the time drinking his pitiable life away in pubs.

"Yes. Tonight I'll find him again. He's always at the bar off of Main Street on Saturdays." My voice sounded hollow to my ears.

Nicky kissed my cheek affectionately—something that would've made me giggle twenty years ago. I felt nothing now. I learned to block off my emotions—my brain— perfectly in the previous years.

He twirled me around and frowned when my lips didn't spread in to a smile. He looked at me expectantly and I forced a grin. "That's my girl. You'll do splendidly."

Nicholas left my side and gestured around the room. We were in a suite in one of the more ritzy hotels in New York. He sighed as he looked at the cream colored drapes and the expensive furniture, "I'm going to miss New York. It was very interesting. But, I have a feeling we are done with the east. We certainly can't go south… I think we're due west. Perhaps California would do." His black eyes were bright with the prospect.

I had never felt the kind of absolute enthusiasm Nicky had for the kill. While he was genuinely happy, I felt as if I had ice in my veins. "California? The sunshine state?"

He laughed merrily, clearing hearing the incredulous tone in my voice. "Yes, dear I know it will prove to be a challenge but what's life without a challenge? We haven't had one in a while. Other than that almost tragic run in with The Volturi…" He paused, looking thoughtful. I remembered our stay in Italy well. It had been a while since I'd thought of it; I had been trying so hard to block it out. The image of a group of humans being herded in for the slaughter was something not so easily forgotten.

"Yes, California will do us good. You'll see." He winked at me and floated out the door.

I readied myself for another night out. I felt like a warrior preparing for battle. Nicky left me out a simple green dress with a mildly surprising dip at the chest. Nothing to cause a complete scandal, but something that would interest our banker.

After I entered the pub that I'd seen him in many times, I sat adjacent to him and ordered water. I said my words slowly, knowing that the pleasant melody of my voice would have him interested. He was. He looked at me as I sipped on my water delicately.

I turned to him, "Hello."

He was momentarily speechless. "Hello," And a little more than tipsy.

I smiled and watched him. I concentrated on him, trying to feel him out. It was easy for me to take on a persona when I knew what kind of girl my victim desired. He looked like he needed something exciting in his life. From the drowsy gaze he held, I was sure he wished for a bright spot in his dull life.

"My name is Isabella, what's yours?"

He was taken aback at my voice or perhaps that I was even speaking to him again. "John." John was a simple looking man with plain brown hair and a round, uninteresting face. In his youth, I imagined he probably held a boyish charm about him, but it was mostly faded now.

"Nice to meet you, John." I purred.

John was captivated at this point. "If you don't mind me askin', ma'am...but what is a pretty girl like you doin' in a bar this late?" He looked slightly concerned.

My conscience sobbed inside me silently. My future victim showing worry for me, it was almost ironic. I shook my head and smiled at him demurely. "Sometimes you just have to get away..."

He took a swig of his beer, "I heartily agree."

I siddled next to him smoothly. "What to do have to get away from, John?" I let my cold hand brush his quickly.

He shivered but didn't look away. "Everything."

We made small talk for a few drinks until John was thoroughly smashed. He stared at me and gave me cheeky smiles. The alcohol was making him braver.

"Listen, hows about we get outta here?" His New York accent was thick and brash in his current state.

I felt robotic when I let a wicked smile grace my lips. "I know just the place."

We breezed out of the pub, him following me dutifully. I led him to the hotel we were staying, through its glass doors and up its large, spiraling staircase. John let out a low whistle at the place and looked around, amazed. "Never been here before…Classy joint, though."

I said nothing on our way up to the top floor. His heart (a sound I was growing so used to) was racing. John's last heart beats. We were about to enter my room when he stopped. I looked at him expectantly.

His brown eyes bored in to mine. I felt the tingling of recognition in my mind… brown eyes… I remembered my father's brown eyes. _My eyes were brown before_… I couldn't finish the thought. John's brown eyes were getting closer as he leaned in to kiss me. His lips were sloppy and his hands were hasty on my body. Shaken by my previous thoughts, I reached for his head to pull him away. As my hands landed on his cheeks, I saw something…Something so vibrant and brilliant in my mind that it frightened me. Images of a young brown haired boy playing on a train track with his friends…that same boy, now a young man, kissing a woman, telling her he loved her…that young man picking up his children, holding them tight and whispering in their ears… John's memories filled my brain. Moments of triumph and love… of hurt and loss…

I found my mind again and snapped it closed. The images stopped. Both of us were gasping for breath. I could hear his thunderous heart in my ears. I looked in to his brown eyes and saw him for what he was: a husband, a father, a son, and a brother…an innocent life.

Shoving him away roughly, I ran. Down the stairs and out in to the night…in to the streets and past the city. I ran and ran and didn't stop.

--

_Edward_

The rest of lunch was uneventful. Jessica griped about the Cullens a little more while Mike asked me about myself. I decided that I liked Mike. Unlike Jessica, Mike's enthusiasm and friendliness seemed pure. He looked like he really was just a nice guy.

I'm a little humiliated to admit but I watched the beautiful group almost the entire period. It was hard to keep my eyes away. Especially from Isabella. My brain told me that it was probably stupid to grow a crush on the person almost every one of my new "friends" had just openly expressed hate for but just looking at her made it feel like my mind wasn't connected to my body. Weird.

My next class was my favorite subject: History. I was always pretty decent at it with out really trying and the history of things interested me.

Learning about different places and times made me realize something…It sounds kind of clichéd but I realized that I felt different. Like I didn't fit in or I was alive in the wrong era or something. Most girls my age were in to malls, TV, and clothes… none of which fascinated me. No one really ever interested me enough to make an effort. Maybe it was stupid of me to believe this but I always felt like somehow your "someone" would find you… Like it would be fate or something. It was really embarrassing to admit but the idea still felt instilled in me. I blame that belief on my mother forcing me to watch _Romeo and Juliet_, _Casablanca_, and many other sappy, can't-live-without-you love movies. That category of films should never be shown to a growing boy. I wondered if my dad would have let my mom do it if he had been around more often.

My only other excuse for not having a girlfriend is that I was shy. Yeah, I know it's a crappy excuse but I can't think of anything else.

I learned that Mike and I had the next few classes together. He politely walked with me to class, asking more questions along the way. I was happy to answer but I knew Mike was looking for something juicy and exciting from my life in a big city but I had no stories to tell.

"How do you like Forks so far?" Mike was a never ending fountain of questions.

I shrugged. "It's okay. I only just got here yesterday though."

We entered the class room as the bell rang. Mike went to sit at his desk while I approached the teacher. The class was still talking when I introduced myself to the chubby man at his desk. "I'm Edward Masen… I'm new."

The man stood up. He was much, much shorter than me and nearly twice my weight but his face was kind and he smiled at me happily. "Nice to meet you, young man. I'm Mr. Johnson. Why don't you go have a seat by Miss Cullen?" He pointed to the back of the room.

My eyes snapped to the direction he was pointing in. Isabella Cullen was sitting by herself in the back of the class with the only available seat beside her. The desks weren't normal desks; they were lab type tables so I would be sitting directly next to her. I nodded at Mr. Johnson and walked to my new seat.

I tried not to watch her as I moved closer but I couldn't help it. She was staring out the window again and fiddling with a pencil between her fingers. The fluorescent light of the classroom—which looked unflattering on everyone else— didn't hide or alter the soft curves of her face. I was silent as I pulled out the chair and sat down.

When I ran a hand through my hair I noticed her drop her pencil immediately and stiffen. Her body was rigid next to me. I looked sideways at her to see her eyes closed tightly and her fists clenched. What the hell just happened?

Mr. Johnson began talking about the turn of the century in America. I had studied most of it last year so I couldn't even try and concentrate on that. Instead I had to wrack my brain for any reason Isabella would go still at my presence. She was leaning against the wall, closer and closer to the open window. Her body was curved directly away from me. I (hopefully) subtly smelled myself. I didn't smell weird… I might not have dressed up and looked nice for my first day but I definitely put deodorant on.

Her long fingers were gripping the end of the lab table, the knuckles whiter than they already were. I grimaced. What was I doing that was so annoying?

The period couldn't have lasted longer. It felt like a million years until the bell finally rung. As it signaled the end of the class period, Isabella was up and out of her chair. She whooshed past me and out of the class, leaving a fantastic scent trail behind her. I watched her with my mouth open. Nothing like that had ever happen to me before. Ever.

Mike slid in front of my desk with a wide grin on his face, "So what the hell'd you do to Isabella, huh? She looked like she wanted to kill you."

I played dumb. "That was a Cullen, right?" On Mike's nod, I continued. "I don't know… Maybe she didn't like the smell of my cologne."

Mike laughed and steered us out of the classroom and on our way to gym. The walk there was mostly silent as I couldn't stop thinking about Isabella. Her severe form, her tight grip on the desk… I was usually very good at telling what was wrong with someone but with her it was like a blank wall. I couldn't tell what the hell she was thinking.

Gym was my next and last class. I followed Mike through the locker room while he chatted happily. I barely listened, my thoughts were a whirlwind.

--

_Bella_

**Somewhere in Pennsylvania  
January 1900**

I hadn't run very long until I was somewhere entirely different. Away from the city life and the people, I stopped as I came to a wooded area. The ground was decorated in deep snow. I barely took in my surroundings before I lay in the snow, curling in to a ball and clutching my shawl around me though I wasn't cold.

It felt like I was holding my insides together. They felt dangerously close to spilling out and killing me. There was an ache that throbbed in my center, an almost nauseating feeling. I thought of the countless people I'd killed… innocent lives I'd taken away. Mothers, brothers, sisters, fathers, sons, daughters: all gone.

What was wrong with me? I was a vampire. Nicholas didn't seem to mind taking a life, why did I? In actuality, he enjoyed it thoroughly. He was completely content with his life. Why did I feel this way?

And for that matter, what had happened back in New York? Those memories…All those memories in my head and none of them mine. I had touched John's skin for a moment and I saw so many things, what had happened? The significant moments in his life were behind my eyes, playing like a movie. I was flabbergasted. I knew some vampires could have a gift that was passed over from their previous life but that had never happened to me before. I knew what The Volturi had said to me about my gift…But wouldn't it have shown itself before I had been a vampire for nearly thirty years?

My mind drifted. I had so many thoughts and faces in my head that eventually I turned them off. I shut down. I closed my eyes and laid still, half buried in the snow. I thought about laying there for the rest of eternity just so I couldn't harm another boy, another young man, another husband…

I don't know how long I laid there, unmoving and unresponsive. Time went on and I was still. My thoughts were blank. Eventually, I heard the crunching of snow in the distance. I went even stiller, hoping against hope that it was not a human. I hadn't eaten in who knows how long and I was deathly afraid of what my instincts might force me to commit. I closed my eyes and listened.

The footsteps grew closer but I heard no heart, I felt no sweet wafting of blood. It was two people, I heard them whispering quickly to one another. Two vampires more like it.

"She's not human…" Said the man; his voice interested.

The woman sighed and sounded deeply concerned, "Poor dear, she looks so young."

Their faces were before me as I opened my eyes. I stared at them. Yes, certainly vampires. Both of them were very beautiful and young looking. The man must have been in his early twenties when he was turned. He had sleek blonde hair and a compassionate look on his face. The woman was distressed. She was a little older and had wavy caramel colored hair. They stared at me with eyes I'd never seen on a vampire: a beautiful topaz color.

"Are you all right?" The man asked.

I blinked. "No."

The woman bit her lip, "Carlisle, let's bring her home."

Carlisle was still looking at me deeply. He took my silence as an 'ok' to the suggestion. He leaned down and scooped me up, easily lifting me and cradling me in his arms. I couldn't find it in me to care where they were taking me or even who they were. Something inside me told me there wasn't anything wrong. I looked ahead of us. The sun was rising beyond the trees and the sky was lightening. The ache--the tearing ache-- inside me didn't stop but there was resounding feeling that told me everything was okay. I was going to be okay.

* * *

I'm sure there are some lingering questions about this chapter. It will all be explained, trust me. Especially the Volturi incident. I'm going to have a flashback to that eventually.

On another note, please review! I see really crappy Twilight stories getting hundreds of reviews and I think that this fic is at least little above crappy. So if you read this and enjoy it, please gimme feedback. That's all I ask. If you do I'll give you a cookie!


	4. Chapter Four

This was kind of hard to write because it's sort of like a transition chapter: just something I had to get out of the way before I get in to the real stuff. Anyway, this one's kinda short but the next one should be pretty lengthy. I'm moving back in to school soon so there probably won't be an update til next weekend. Enjoy!

* * *

_Bella_

**Forks, Washington  
September 2008**

I paced the parking lot anxiously, taking mouthfuls of air. I was not in the greatest of moods.

Some new kid in school just traipses in and_ ruins_ everything.

The air in my lungs helped but I couldn't get the absolutely glorious smell his blood gave off out of my head. I saw him at lunch today but there wasn't much interesting about him. He had a strange reddish hair and a tall build but nothing out of the ordinary. Then he sat next to me in History and I could think of nothing else but killing him. I have been a vampire for quite some time. I've had blood smell blissful to me before but this… this was something else entirely. I had so many scenarios in my head that would lead this boy to his death. I had millions of ways I could be rid of his singing blood. If I could just ask him to take a walk with me, to follow me somewhere cut off from everyone else I could taste it…

Ugh, what am I saying? I did not go all these years without human blood to kill some stupid child and ruin it all. I haven't been trying to build up my immunity to blood to waste it all away for this.

_Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle…_ I said ritually in my head, over and over again. Carlisle: the man who took me in, who taught me his ways, who changed my life. I couldn't betray him like that. I was doing so well. I was finally starting to feel rid of the ghosts who haunted me at every turn.

And Esme, who had every confidence in me. Who believed I could change. Both of them took me in when I was lost. I couldn't give up now. I could never give up.

I gritted my teeth and my decision was made with a steely resolve. I would save this little boy's life and not kill him.

Just then, Alice was before me. Her face was extremely curious, "Oh, you didn't kill him. What changed your mind?"

I glared at her. "Because I can't. I can't ever do it again."

Alice nodded and leaned against the Volvo while I continued to pace. "Hmm. For a while it seemed like the decision was already made." You could always count on Alice to be blunt.

I raised a brow, "So were you just going to let me kill him?"

"I was in the middle of class," She said with an eye roll, "And your decisions were changing every minute… If I had gone with one way you would've changed it the next second. Then what help would I have been?" Alice threw me a cheeky grin. Despite Alice's power of foresight, the outcome wasn't always the same. It changed with every decision the persons future she was looking in made.

I leaned next to her and sighed. "You're annoying." I grumbled.

She laughed, "You know you don't think that. You're just in a bad mood."

I gave her a look. She was right. Not about the annoying part (she was definitely annoying) but about the bad mood. We were all on edge because we hadn't fed in a while. Adding what happened this afternoon to that made it ten times worse. I knew I needed someone to talk to who wasn't going to giggle in my face or twirl around while I talked. I guess I was making a trip to the hospital.

"Tell Carlisle I said 'hi'." She gave me an innocent smile.

I went to stomp on her foot but she side-stepped me. I ended up slamming my foot in to the black top. It left a large crack in the cement. Sometimes it was really irritating when Alice knew your future before you did. The toothy grin she smiled after was too much for me so I flicked her ear, quicker than before. She wasn't fast enough this time. As I slid in to the car, I watched her stick her tongue out before turning back to school.

--

"Bella," He looked up and stood as I walked in to his office, "this is a nice surprise." Carlisle greeted me with an affectionate shoulder squeeze.

I smiled at him. Neither Carlisle nor Esme turned me away when I told them my life story, despite the fact that I'd killed so many people. They welcomed me with open arms to join them, if that's what I wanted. I never looked back. I haven't fed on a human since. "I need to talk to you."

He sat back down and I sat across from him. I bit my lip and I knew he saw the anxiety in my face. His brow scrunched in concern, "What is it?"

I played with my hands nervously. I almost felt like a child admitting to their father that they had stolen a cookie or something. I suppose that's the best scenario, seeing as Carlisle had become a surrogate father to me. "There was a new child in school today…Evan something…"

"Edward Masen?" Carlisle asked curiously.

I shrugged, "I think so… How did you know?"

"His father is a new doctor in Forks. He's rather good, I hear. I have only met him in passing but he did mention a son Edward."

I went rigid. "Do you think his son will come here to see him?" I said it fast and fearfully. I can't have him near me again so soon. Just the very thought of it made my throat burn in agony.

Carlisle looked alarmed now, "Bella, what's wrong?"

I grimaced and bowed my head. "This Edward… his blood… it's unnaturally potent. He sat next to me in one of my classes and I could barely contain myself. I wanted to kill him—I wanted to—" I took a deep breath; the ache in my center was starting to throb. The reminder of my life before Esme and Carlisle—of the people I killed—always brought on that familiar pain. "I've smelled fantastic scents before but this blood is like…" I couldn't find words for it.

Carlisle was sympathetic, "I'm sorry. Perhaps you can transfer your class. That would be the best thing, for you and for him."

I hadn't thought of that. "That's a good idea. But even so, just the thought of his blood..." I swallowed hard, trying to appease the fists of fire scratching at my throat. My words were coming out a mile a minute. Any human listening wouldn't be able to catch a single word of it. "I just don't— I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't _want _to kill him but it was so hard. I don't want to leave here. Every one likes it here… You're doing so well. I don't want to ruin everything." I felt the hitch of a tearless sob deep in my chest. I ignored it.

Carlisle was before me, kneeling in front of me. His eyes were worried but he had a small smile on his face. "Bella, you're not going to ruin everything. Your immunity to blood has been progressing immensely. Remember when you couldn't even stand to be around an open wound?" He paused and waited as I nodded slowly. "As long as you don't _want_ any of those things to happen than they simply won't. I know you well, probably better than you know yourself. When you apply yourself to something you always achieve it."

It sounded like a speech straight out of a TV sitcom but my conscience felt at ease. Carlisle always had a way of making me feel better. I mirrored his small smile. "Thanks." I heaved a sigh. "I guess I should swing back to school and pick up the rest of the family."

"Did you skip your last class?" His eyes were disapproving.

I laughed. "Not exactly. I told Mrs. Helby I had an emergency and I needed to go home. She wrote me a dismissal." It was almost too easy to charm people sometimes.

He guffawed and we walked out of his office and toward the entrance of the hospital. He ruffled my hair teasingly as I walked out the doors. I waved behind me and hurried to the Volvo to pick up the others. They were probably waiting for me already.

--

_Edward_

Gym was boring. We played volleyball for forty-five minutes. I needed something to distract me from my thoughts but all volleyball did was intensify them. I was doomed.

Jessica would wave or wink at me every now and then from the other side of the net. I tried to smile back but I wasn't really all that worried about what _Jessica_ was thinking. I _knew_ what Jessica was thinking. I didn't know what Isabella was thinking. That was more frustrating than anything.

After gym was over, Mike and I walked out of the gymnasium and towards the parking lot. Suddenly, I was glad that my dad never bought me any fancy cars. Most of the cars in the parking lot were old and beat up. Having an expensive car would've been a little embarrassing, for me at least. My mustang fit in just fine.

I was showing Mike the mustang when I heard, "Edward! Wait up!" Jessica was scurrying behind us. I winced.

"Is this yours?" She asked, halting to a stop next to me.

"Yeah. Bought it myself." I couldn't help but be a little proud. It _looked _pretty nice on the outside but I knew my mustang was a piece of crap.

Mike tapped the hood with a finger, "How's it run?"

I chose to be honest. I was never all that great at lying anyway. "Barely runs but it gets me places."

Jessica laughed, "At least you don't have to drive your mother's minivan like Tyler." She pointed to one of the guys I met this afternoon driving by us in a blue "mom" car. We all chuckled a bit.

As Tyler passed us, another car snuck in behind him. A sleek, silver Volvo sped in to the parking lot and stopped in front of the school doors. Four of the Cullens walked slowly up to the car and jumped in swiftly. They barely spoke again and looked even wearier than they had at lunch. The only one who had a smile on their face was the pixie one: Alice.

The Volvo turned a corner and waited behind a line of cars on their way out. I watched as Isabella looked at me from the driver's seat. She narrowed her eyes and clenched her jaw before turning away from me, revving the engine and speeding out. My jaw dropped. I looked at Mike and Jessica. They looked smug.

"Told you the Cullens were snotty." Jessica said in a sing-song voice. Mike nodded.

The two said their goodbyes to me and told me they would see me on Monday. I silently thanked the stars that it was already the weekend. Being the new kid was hard enough. Now, I had a slight break to reassess my thoughts.

I looked in the direction that the Volvo left. What the hell could I reassess about _that_?

--

_Bella_

"Bells, you have no poker face." Emmett laughed deeply.

I sped up a little, racing to get out of the parking lot. I looked sideways at Emmett, who was in the front seat. "What?" I wasn't exactly paying attention to his words; I was just fighting the urge not to slaughter the boy who we had just driven by.

"You should've just growled at the kid, it would've made a better statement." He turned up the volume on some stupid rap song. I instantly changed the channel. "Well hopefully he'll just stay away." I knew what I must've looked like to Edward—a freak. I spent all of class stretching away from him and now I just gave him a death glare (no pun intended). Maybe this way he'd stay far, far away from me.

Alice was bored with our subject. "Guess what? There's going to be thunder in a few days! Most likely Sunday night… Who's up for baseball?" While the rest of us were all grumpy today Alice was her usual cheerful self. Although we hadn't eaten in almost two weeks, she was still a bundle of energy. I wondered how she could be in such a good mood while being so thirsty.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "We're going hunting Sunday night. I doubt we'll have time." There was obvious displeasure in her voice. Rosalie was abnormally aggravated at this time. She would be the first one to lunge for your neck.

Jasper was never the talkative type but he was unusually quiet today. He was also very stressed at lunch. His thirst was clouding his conscience, especially surrounded by sweet smelling blood. I felt for him the most. He and I had somewhat similar histories, both very different from the rest of the family. I gave him a small quirk of my lips through the rearview mirror. He sighed back at me.

We were home within three minutes which is definitely quicker than normal. I was going a little faster than necessary. Esme met us at the door, as she usually did.

"Welcome home everyone! How was school?" She was comparable to Alice in a way. They didn't let their thirst ruin a good mood. I envied them.

"Bella almost killed someone!" Emmett called from the TV room, already watching a sports game.

I restricted the urge to tackle him right away. Later I would make him pay… Now, I had to explain to Esme. She looked at me curiously. I sighed and launched in to my story.

--

_Edward_

As I drove home from what felt like the longest day of my life, I noticed something I hadn't really noticed before. Just how terrifyingly green Forks was. I felt surrounding by trees and bushes. Everywhere I looked was _green_. I took a moment to remember my old home: the sounds of the city life, the interesting and diverse people, the howling of wind at my window, and the grey colored buildings and bright city lights… Chicago. My mood had hit an all time low.

I scowled at the green shrubbery. Stupid, _stupid _Forks.

As much as I hated to admit it, my day wouldn't have been half as maddening if the Cullens didn't exist. I feel so dumb for being worried about what some snotty girl thinks of me. I should just listen to what Jessica said. Stupid, _stupid_ Cullens.

When I stomped through the door, my mother was dusting the shelves. I wondered if dust even had time to settle before she began cleanings. She smiled brilliantly at me, "Edward! How was your first day? Meet any cute girls?" Her usual enthusiastic voice boomed.

That was a low blow. I shook my head and trudged up the stairs and in to my room. I threw my bag on the ground and lay on my bed in my empty room. I stared grumpily at the ceiling. I listened for any sound outside my window, any noise at all.

Nothing.

Pure and infuriating silence.

* * *

Hehehe. Lemme know what you think of all the Cullens! Is anyone out of character? I'm trying to stay as on point as possible. Gimme feedback and review!


	5. Chapter Five

I always thought it was kind of unrealistic that Bella had made no real friends in Arizona after living there her whole life. I mean, she was a pretty normal girl… it wasn't like she was scary or anything… then how come she had no previous friends to speak of? Anyway, I'm letting Edward have friends…

**To Mystic Archer Horse**: Yes, Edward and Bella aren't at all like they are in the book because of their different life experiences. I guess I should've made it clearer that I meant the other Cullens and asking how in character they were.

I'm not really sure what you mean about owning character meaning personalities…but, when you say I "haven't gotten talents off" if you're talking about Bella's vampire talent then you should know that I'm planning on explaining that in due time. Everything will be unfolding with each chapter.

* * *

_Edward_

I spent most of the weekend glowering. My mother was worried sick. She overreacted about everything. She even felt my temperature after dinner when I didn't eat a bite (on most days I'm perpetually hungry). Elizabeth was never one to let something go, either. The entire weekend she bugged me incessantly about my first day.

"Why didn't you like it?" She pouted miserably.

I glared at her. "Honestly Mom, can you put two and two together? I don't want to talk about it."

She left me alone after that.

I heard my father try and console her after work on Saturday. He told her I was going through a "new kid phase". I scoffed even though he was probably right. I just kept telling myself I only had two years of this before I can move back to Chicago and go to college there.

I threw a tennis ball at the wall for majority of the weekend. There was nothing to do: no movie theatre down the street, no bar me and my friends can sneak in to a few blocks away and most importantly… no friends at all. I tried to tell myself that everyone I had met Friday were nice enough but it didn't help. Maybe I just needed some time here to get used to it.

I stared at the rain on my window pane.

…Or maybe I just needed to get out of here fast.

I reached out for my cell phone, which was left in my bag after I threw a miniature hissy fit on Friday. Two missed calls, one from Danielle and one from Vince. I sighed before hitting Danielle's number forcefully. I had to talk to them sometime, even if it would probably make me feel even worse. It would remind me of how much I was missing back in Chicago.

"Edward!" The voice was excited.

"Hey, Danny." I said back, my voice monotone.

Danielle Abrams and Vince Martin had been my best friends since I was in third grade and inadvertently upset the "bully" of our class. Todd Newton was out to get me after he was caught cheating off me on a math test. And of course he was after me for getting him in trouble although I had no hand in him getting caught. At recess I was about to get the living shit kicked out of me when Danielle kicked Todd in the shins and Vince tripped him, making it a three on one. My odds of living increased. Todd ran away and I had made lifelong friends. We laugh to this day about that story. Todd was still afraid of Danielle.

But, I don't blame him. Danny is my best friend but she's no Joey Potter. She's the girl next door in personality but she doesn'tlook like the clichéd movie type you always see. Danny is of a medium height and stocky, with thick arms and legs. Her face is a little squished but she has the pretty hazel eyes. The only thing truly perfect about her is her teeth. She had braces for five years.

"How's the land of silverware?" She teased.

I was not up for teasing. "Even smaller than I imagined. Not a Starbucks for miles."

There was a gasp on the other line. "No way! I'd be in hell!" She couldn't function without a mocha-latte-whatever.

I snorted, "I _am _in hell. There is no weather other than overcast and rain. I haven't seen the sun in days! And the only color around is green! I feel like I'm being suffocated by bushes."

Danielle heard my distress and laughed. "You're such a girl. Get over it, already. You're going to be spending the rest of high school there so stop being a baby about it."

"You're a big help. This is exactly what I need: someone yelling at me." I said sarcastically.

I could almost see her shrug on the other line. She was always all "tough love", no comfort. "You know me. It's what I do." She paused, "How was your first day? Meet any nice townies?"

I sighed, "Yeah, actually. I didn't expect it to be so easy to make acquaintances. I don't do well in new environments."

"Believe me, I know… So, gimme a play by play."

"The classes were all pretty regular. Definitely smaller than Chicago's classes. Everyone's nice except…" I wondered if I should tell her about the Cullens. Saying it out loud would solidify how stupid I was for being bothered by it. But, I reasoned, I needed to talk to someone about it.

"Except?" She prodded. Danny was nosy.

"This group of kids. They're all fostered by a married couple or something. And they're all abnormally good looking. Think of the best looking people in our school and times that by a hundred."

Danny clicked her tongue in acknowledgement. "Wow. Well, obviously they're not nice… what good looking people are? It's just their nature." She laughed bitterly.

"It's not that they're not nice… They're just very standoffish." Then Isabella's disgusted face floated through my eyes. "Actually, one of them was a step away from hissing at me in History."

"That's a pretty normal reaction."

I smiled, "Ha ha, very funny."

"Yes, I know. Hey, you wanna talk to Vince? He's right here. We're watching _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_."

I felt the envy boil in my head. I heard Vince quote a scene in the background. I winced, wishing I was there. "Nah, that's okay. I'm just gonna do homework for school tomorrow. Ya know, catch up."

"Hmm… seems you've been wallowing all weekend." Her voice was arrogant.

"Bye Danny," I growled.

I hung up before I could receive a farewell. That phone call didn't make me feel better. I frowned and pulled out my Algebra II homework.

--

The next morning came too quick. I stared angrily at the clock as the alarm went off. My mother shouted at me merrily from downstairs. "Breakfast!"

I shoved the blankets off of me and trampled down the stairs to a heaping of waffles and fresh fruit. My heart softened again. I was a jerk, my mother was a saint. I felt like a complete jackass. She was trying to make me feel better, _again_. I ate vigorously.

She kissed me on the cheek on my way out. Then she looked me in the eye meaningfully, "Enjoy yourself. Don't be so uptight and _try_ to like Forks, okay?"

I saw the eagerness in her eyes. She wanted me to like it here, as she did. I remembered her brief story at dinner the other night about how she'd already made friends next door. I nodded, "Okay."

She smiled courteously and shooed me out the door.

I drove through the fog and drizzle, staring at the green the whole way to school. I still hated it all, but I tried to be less obvious about it. Though I have great friends back in Chicago, it didn't mean I didn't want to make friends here. And I'm sure acting surly and unhappy won't help.

I parked close to the gym and began my walk to the front doors. As I trotted there I watched the Cullens strut as if they were on a cat walk in to school. Isabella trailed behind the two couples, her chocolate hair blowing behind her. I rolled my eyes. _Show offs._

--

At lunch, I entered the cafeteria and bought my lunch slowly. I wasn't in a hurry to see Isabella glaring at me from across the room. I purchased my usual mound of food. Mike caught me at the register and waved me over to the table from Friday. I smile politely and followed him.

Jessica immediately sat next to me and fluttered her eyelashes in my face. I tried to smile but I imagined that it turned out to be somewhat of a frown. She put her hand on my shoulder and whispered that I had "pretty eyes" in my ear. I nodded and said, "Thanks." I wasn't really expecting that.

Mike nudged me from my left. He whispered in my general direction, "Isabella Cullen is staring at you."

Although I wanted to look up right away, I resisted the urge. I turned toward Mike. "Does she look pissed?"

Mike squinted as he watched her. He stared for a full minute before I had to elbow him to get his attention again. For some reason, I was almost pissed that he was getting such joy out of staring at Isabella. I blanched at my revelation. What did I have to be pissed about? "Mike!" I whispered loudly.

He shook his head and looked like he was trying to remember why he was talking to me in the first place. "Oh, right. Umm… no. She looked kinda curious." He looked incredulous of his own words. This wasn't pleasing him.

"Huh. Well, that's a change." I snuck a glance at their table.

The Cullens, who were decidedly gloomy and tired-looking on Friday, were now fresher in appearance, with something of a flush on their cheeks. They all looked happier, even. Emmett was balancing a spoon on his nose while Jasper tried to snatch it. The girls laughed merrily at their antics. It looked like a scene from some teen movie. I watched Isabella closely. Her previous dark glares left my mind as I watched her ruffle Alice's hair, her smile enchanting.

What brought such a change in their moods? Weird.

--

_Bella_

I felt better today. I spent the entire weekend sulking over my particular situation. I thought about what it would do to Edwards family and friends, if I were ever to kill him. I thought about what it would do to my own family. We were happy here; we could be somewhat normal here because of the overcast weather. Carlisle enjoyed his job and Esme loved the house immensely. I knew how many lives were riding on my decision. I should avoid him like the plague.

I tried to switch my class this morning but as much as Mrs. Helby wanted to, she reasoned that it would set me back. There was also no other classes to transfer in to. My fate was sealed. I would have to endure this child's blood for the rest of the year. Although I had gorged myself on blood last night, I was sure Edwards's blood would burn in my throat the instant I was in class. I dreaded the anticipation that it made me feel. I yearned to smell it and it pained me to admit it. I felt venom pool in my throat.

The rest of the family had tried to console me over the weekend. I rebuffed their misguided attempts. There was nothing that could make me feel better. I was just going to have to grin and bear it.

Carlisle convinced that I should _try_ and reverse my first impression with the boy. Having him be suspicious was not good for our reputation. It could inadvertently force us to leave. I nodded reluctantly. How was I to even breath in front of this demon, let alone actually speak? Despite all this, I did feel better today. The blood from last night seemed to lighten my spirits.

I watched him at lunch. Jessica Stanley, an absolutely vile girl, flirted with him ruthlessly. I titled my head; I was curious if he would respond to her feminine wiles. He forced a smile at her, but its outward appearance looked more like a grimace. I laughed.

"Isabella Cullen is staring at you," Mike Newton informed him.

Edward didn't look up but his face was panicked. "Does she look pissed?" Hmm… so I guess I truly had scared the boy. Good thing I hadn't taken Emmett's advice and growled at him.

There was a long pause. I looked up through my curtain of hair to see Mike Newton staring at me like I was the last woman on earth. I sighed heavily. I had thought that poor Mike had gotten over his ridiculous crush on me. Perhaps I was wrong.

I tuned out the rest of the cafeteria's conversations to watch Emmett play with his spoon. We couldn't eat our food so there was little to entertain us during lunch. Jasper, careful not to go too fast, lunged for the spoon that swayed on Emmett's nose. We all laughed lightly at them. Jasper was looking very frustrated that he couldn't use his super speed to actually grab the utensil. "You're lucky I can't use my real speed." He grumbled when Emmett pointed and laughed in his face.

While they continued their antics, I looked at Rosalie and Alice. I thought of some way to mess with them. If I were to disarray Rose's hair there would be hell to pay. And although that 

sounded very amusing right now, I knew I didn't want to hear her launch in to a diatribe about how her appearance was important. I shot my hand out and did the next best thing: dishevel Alice's pointy hair.

We giggled together as she shook her hair out dramatically. In spite of all her heavy shaking, when she stopped her hair was perfectly tousled.

I knew exactly what they were doing: Trying to sidetrack me from my worries. I was glad for the distraction. We didn't always have these moments. School was intensely boring for all of us…. like staring at a perfectly blank wall. The material was things we'd all done a million times over. In fact, we were all college graduates. "All apart of the guise," Carlisle would say with a sigh. My guise, a sixteen year old girl, would never change. I would forever be a teenage girl to the world. Not yet a woman. That was the most infuriating thing of all.

I heard Edward laughing at something Mike said. I didn't smell him from here but the time was drawing closer to when I would. I concentrated again on my sibling's laughter. Their delighted faces were beautiful in the dull grey light of the afternoon. I would not kill this Masen boy for them. I imagined Esme and Carlisle, arms intertwined, with encouraging smiles on their faces. And finally, I glimpsed at Edward again. He had a hand in his interesting copper hair as his green eyes avoided Jessica Stanley's. His face was bright with promise and life. I would not kill Edward for us all.

The bell rang. Like Pavlov's dogs, the venom in my throat coated my tongue. I hissed quietly. The ring felt like a death sentence but it wasn't my death it was signaling.

--

My family gave me fond farewells as I rushed off to class. Jasper and Rosalie smiled at me encouragingly as we parted ways. Emmett and Alice walked me to my classroom. Emmett elbowed me jokingly and gave me a pat on the head. Alice kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand. "I'll be watching. I won't let anything happen." And with that, they turned and pranced gracefully down the hall, Emmett's hulking figure towering over Alice's small frame.

I hurried in to History. I didn't want to be late. If I had to pass by Edward, I wasn't sure I would be able to stop myself from grabbing him. It would be so easy…too easy.

Edward walked in with Mike, his tall and lean body a contrast to Mike's rounder form. I braced myself and turned to look out the window. The misty weather wasn't much to stare at, but I tried to concentrate on it while Edward walked to his seat. The door opened again and the wind blew in, sending his scent to me quicker. I bit the inside of my mouth painfully. He drew nearer, each step more agonizing to me. As he sat down, a fresh wave of his smell washed over me. I wanted to lean out and touch him, feel his pumping blood under my fingertips.

The beating of his heart was erratic and so appealing. I suddenly remembered what Carlisle used to say to me when I was struggling with my bloodlust early in my "vegetarian" days. He would say, "It helps me to concentrate on the heart beat. It reminds me that this is a life, a living person…" I concentrated on his. It was interestingly loud and fast, like he had just run to class.

I looked at him curiously. He was staring straight ahead, rigid and straight. I cleared my throat. Carlisle _did_ tell me to try and be friendly. "Hi, I didn't get a chance to introduce myself Friday. I'm Bella."

His eyes widened when he turned to look at me. He looked surprised that I had spoken to him, and doubly surprised at the harmonious sound of my voice. I forced a smile, but didn't reveal my teeth. I didn't want to scare him again with my white, shiny, and—most importantly—deadly teeth.

Edward swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, "Hey…Um, I'm Edward."

"I know," I laughed. "New kid in a small town is big news around here."

He looked star struck. "Yeah..." He let out a shaky breath and I stiffened and closed my lungs. I held it there while the moment passed. I let a quiet rickety breath out. His smell burned my throat but I was growing used to it. I knew I had to because we'd be sitting next to each other until the end of the year. I grimaced.

Edward looked like he wanted to continue our conversation but he had no words. I watched him inquiringly. It had been a while since I'd talked to a human, other than casual conversation. I wondered where this was going.

"So, your father's a doctor?" I asked.

He nodded, "Uh, yeah."

Odd. He looked like he wanted to talk vigorously. As I was concentrating on his heart, it sped faster than was normal. I turned my body toward him: another pick up in the rhythm in his chest. He was nervous, I assumed. Nervous that I would eat him, probably. I must've really scared him the other day.

"My father—adopted father—is a doctor as well." He nodded but didn't respond. I guess I really had frightened him. His smell, still intoxicating, flew down my throat. I swallowed the venom painfully and listened to his heart beat. The sound was tempting but oddly comforting at the same time. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He was fidgeting.

--

_Edward_

Breathe. Don't panic… she's just talking to you. What's the big deal? Why am I so nervous?

Then she looked at me oddly again, her beautiful face hitting the glow of the overhead light. I forgot to breathe again. What the hell was wrong with me? I could talk to Jessica just fine…why was I freaking out now? Bella's topaz eyes continued to look at me. Oh, right. She's absolutely gorgeous, she smells great, her voice is beautiful and she's talking to ME. That's why. I was almost positive she could hear the hammering sound of my heart.

When I walked in to class I figured I would get the severe glares once again. I walked as slowly as possible towards my desk. She was looking as picturesque as ever as she stared out the window, a purely bored expression on her face. I wanted to hate her for seemingly hating me but it was hard to hate her…There was something about her that made me feel breathless. I sighed pitifully; I _would_ grow a crush on the most unattainable female.

I sat down, stiff and tense. I was weirdly nervous. That's when she looked in my general direction and cleared her throat. I was waiting for her black eyes to bore in to me again but what I heard I don't think I'll ever forget. She introduced herself, her voice a pretty melody. If it was possible, her voice was as appealing as she was. Not to mention she smelled like an exotic flower. I was at a loss for words, and yet I wanted to speak to her so much. It was the worst feeling in the world.

I wanted to ask her about her father…about her life, about everything. I just wanted to hear her voice again. I was pathetic. I was fully aware of that.

Her curious eyes, that were a strange amber instead of the dark glares I received Friday, were turned on me. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, terrified to speak. The look on her face was as if she was looking at a foreign insect, or a car crash. I knew how stupid I must've looked.

"Do you visit him often?" She inquired personably.

What was the question? "Um…" Oh, right—my dad and the hospital. "No. Actually, I haven't visited him at all yet. I should probably do that." She looked thoughtful; she wanted me to talk to her. _I_ wanted me to talk to her. But there were no thoughts in my head while she sat next to me.

Then Mr. Johnson decided to begin class, and I both thanked and cursed him. I could listen to her voice forever, but I felt like a complete idiot. She probably thought I was a mute or something. Oh God.

When class ended, she flew past me again and out the door, just as she did Friday. I bagged my head miserably against the desk. I heard Mike's delighted laugh. I scrunched my face in annoyance: of _course_ he watched me make an ass out of myself…he was enamored with Bella.

"Nice one, Masen. Couldn't get the words out, huh?"

I wanted to punch Mike. "Yeah, yeah…Very funny. Let's never discuss this again."

Mike was almost too happy about my situation. "Sorry, man. She has that affect on people. They all do. It's weird."

As we walked to gym, I tried my best not to remember the last forty minutes of my life. I was beyond humiliated.

--

Gym went by fast. I was too preoccupied with my thoughts. My agonizing thoughts.

I decided to go to the hospital after school. Bella had made me realize that I hadn't visited my father yet. My dad would like that and I could maybe snoop around and see Dr. Cullen.

I hurried out of school and out of the parking lot. I didn't want to run in to anyone: not Mike, not Jessica, and—most significantly—not Bella.

Forks' hospital was on the smaller side—for a hospital, at least—and white. The building looked old but when I stepped inside everything was newer looking: white panels and glossy floors.

I went to a receptionist and asked for Dr. Masen. She smiled at me kindly and guessed who I was immediately. "You're Edward, aren't you?"

"Yeah, that's me." I said, somewhat embarrassed.

She played with a few things around her. "His office is upstairs and to the right."

"Thank you," I said before I walked down the hallway and up the elevator.

The upstairs was much of the same. I found the sign that read 'Dr. Edward Masen' and it led to a small room with a tiny desk. I laughed; this was a real change from Chicago. He had a great big office in a huge hospital.

My father was twiddling with something on his desk when I came in. He looked up and smiled. "Heya Junior. What brings you here?"

I sat down across from him. He ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair. As much as it pained me to admit it, I was jealous of his hair. I had a weird red color and he had the California blonde look. My hair was one of my pet peeves. "Nothing, just wanted to see the new digs. How do you like it here?"

He thought for a moment. "Oh, ya know…It's not bad. Definitely not as demanding as Chicago was. Smaller, less busy…but better. I'm not as completely stressed out as I was there." He really did look content.

"That's great, Dad."

He smiled at me, "Wanna see the place? I'll show you around."

Edward Sr. showed me the little that there was to show in the hospital. I met many of the nurses and they all cooed at me and my father, saying we looked so much alike. I couldn't see the resemblance.

"Edward!" We both turned to the voice, a deep, pleasant, and masculine sound.

It looked like a male model that was playing a doctor on a TV show was coming toward us. He was young, with a thick head of bright blonde hair. This guy can't be a doctor here, can he?

"Carlisle," My father said as the man finally reached us, "this is my son, Edward Jr."

Recognition lit his face. A strange emotion flitted across his features before it disappeared and he was blinding me with his surreally white teeth. "Hello, Edward. I'm Dr. Cullen."

Dr. _Cullen_. Of course this man who looked so out of place here was the adopted father of the students that looked just as out of place. "It's nice to meet you, Dr. Cullen." I said politely, trying not to let my initial shock stay on my face.

Dr. Cullen turned back to my father and they discussed some patient from earlier in the day. Before he left, Dr. Cullen gave me a genuine smile and wave. I stared after him, amazed. "Dad… _he's_ a doctor here?"

My father laughed. I'm sure it was a shock to him when he first came here, as well. "Yes, its surprising isn't it? Carlisle looks like some big shot Hollywood actor, not one of the most gifted surgeons I've ever encountered."

Most gifted surgeon? Wow. "He looks so young."

"Precisely what I was thinking when I first met him. But, I have seen him in action. He's astoundingly perfect. Really something to watch." He paused, "He has some adopted children in Forks High School that are your age. Do you know them?"

I snorted, "Yeah, something like that." My face grew red, "They're all pretty hard to miss."

What surprised me was that my father laughed too. "Some of them have visited... Bella, most of the time. She candy-stripes here every other day. For someone so young, she really knows what she's doing. Smart girl, too. Carlisle tells me she skipped a grade and could've skipped more but she wanted to be able to interact with people her own age. And boy does she look like boys line up around the block for her…" I was slightly mortified that my father also thought Bella was attractive, but how could you not? "You should meet her…She's a very nice girl."

My eyes widened. "No, no, no. That's okay… I've met her. I kinda have to go anyway." Bella was here? It was just my luck that I would run in to her.

"Alright, Junior. I'll see you at home for dinner." He gave me a warm pat on the shoulder before briskly turning back in the direction of his office.

I turned a corner and went down the stairs, practically fleeing the hospital. When I looked up I saw Bella, looking as appealing despite the dowdy scrubs she had on. She was filing something for the receptionist, or doing whatever it is that candy-striper's do. I wanted to talk to her…I wanted to redeem myself for earlier today. I started to approach her when suddenly she stiffened and closed her eyes. Immediately, she flew in the opposite direction of me. With a defeated sigh, I left.

As I walked out of the hospital, I thought about what Mike said. He said that the Cullens were weirdly appealing to everyone. It _was_ weird…Really weird. They all were too good at everything. Then, I remembered Dr. Cullen's smooth and pale skin, the same flawless skin Bella and her siblings had. Something was up here and I was going to find out what it was.

* * *

I wanna give thanks to my reviewers. Think of me as a starving writer and your feedback keeps me going. So keep reviewing and tell me what you think of it! I'm really unsure how I feel about this chapter so gimme your opinions.


	6. Chapter Six

Sorry for the delay! It's hard to write when you barely have free time. No worries, I'm finding myself too invested in this story to ever leave it.

* * *

_Bella_

I was bored for the rest of the day. That's what my existence really is, I suppose…one very long day.

I went to the hospital to—in layman's terms—be a glorified temp. I do whatever the receptionists tell me although I know full well that I can perform better than most, if not all, of the nurses currently working in the hospital. I'm not as good as Carlisle, but I'm working on my immunity to blood and I've been progressing. Soon, I hope to actually be a doctor. Of course, this seems to be simply a pipe dream: a fantastic but vain hope, if anything. It's extremely difficult to become a doctor when you look like an adolescent girl.

Carlisle swears we can make it work eventually. It's going to be complicated, that we know to be true, but he pledged to me he will help me every step of the way. Of course, I'm not worried about my abilities to fulfill my dream… I am only worried about the journey. A teenaged girl that becomes a doctor is bound to attract some sort of attention. And attention is the exact thing my family and I have been avoiding for years. We are already very hard to ignore…then what chance do I have to avoid other eyes while I'm trying to become a doctor?

This is what is most frustrating to me. I had finally found something that can truly help me atone for my sins…something that can help others….something that I truly love and I can't do it. And it's all because of my stupid teenaged body. Inside, I feel like a cranky elderly woman but on the outside I look like a fresh faced girl of sixteen. I can stretch eighteen years old but twenty is probably the highest age I can pretend to be.

And more so than that, I hate to be the receptionists "errand girl". I know they can't just give me the work I want because, to them, I am only sixteen. But it is almost unbearable to watch lesser skilled people run around me, doing things that I want to do. Someone might ask me why I'm even doing it in the first place then. To be honest, I ask myself this often. Carlisle suggested it because he believes that I can and will be a doctor one day and this will look nice on my resume. Also, being around open wounds is good practice for the future.

Esme, too, believed in me wholly. Whenever I come home from my short shift at the hospital, she always knows I am going to be in a sour mood. She is always sitting on the step of our huge home, her wavy hair swept up out of her face. Just as usual, she was there when I arrived. "Bella," She cooed as she held her hands out for me.

I embraced her warmly. Esme was my surrogate mother, just as Carlisle was my surrogate father. If Carlisle was the brains of the operation, Esme was the heart. She had such an intense love for us all, even the newer additions (Jasper and Alice). I guess you could say she had a softer spot for me, being her first "daughter".

I tried to shake my previously dour thoughts and put on a happy face. I knew she could tell that I was unhappy, immensely so, but she said nothing. Instead, she sat me down next to her on the step. Esme curled my head on to her lap. I closed my eyes and she stroked my hair and hummed a soft tune. I waited for a spark of a memory to come from my previous life. None came. This 

felt like something my mother would do for me…though, in truth, I could barely remember her at all. But, Esme's beautiful song and soft fingers made me forget my troubles briefly as we waited for Carlisle to arrive home.

--

Most of my existence now was pure boredom. School, home, school, home. I wasn't like my siblings with their significant others… I had no desire to depend on someone like that. I had already gone that route before and I have never regretted anything more in my entire life than the twenty years I spent in sin. The ghosts of my past are usually never far away. I see them everyday. Green eyes…it's always green eyes. I realized something recently: Edward Masen has expressive green eyes. The green eyes of my first victim, the first man I lured to death. Maybe I was right before; maybe he is a demon summoned to make me live in my own personal hell. Not that I don't already live there…

Edward didn't speak to me the rest of the week. I was curious about this. It pains me to admit but I felt oddly comforted by his presence. The thundering in his chest was never far behind me, and it was something I grew accustomed to hearing. His smell was something else altogether but I felt it was getting easier. I doubted I could do more than talk to him (anything else seemed too much). The throbbing in my throat was nothing compared to the ache in my heart when he would look at me. Just getting a glimpse at his green eyes made me hurt.

It seems a paradox to be feeling all these things in the presence of one child. Believe me I was quite confused by it. His eyes were a painful reminder but his presence next to me felt right. And even though I knew I wasn't in danger of killing him anymore—at least not in school—I was still very cautious. I hoped to never encounter him in a situation that would render me weak. I was getting stronger day by day with his blood so near but I was still uncertain.

There is another thing I can't fully explain. I watched Edward. When I heard his voice far away… I listened. I wasn't sure why, I just did. Like an unconscious effort; like a habitual thing. He was a seventeen year old boy, what could possible be so interesting about him? But the truth was, as the weeks went by, I did find it. His heart was true. He was pained by others pain and—though he was only an adolescent and still maturing—he had a maturity about him that he didn't know he had. It's difficult to encounter truly pure people—vampire or human. It was refreshing to be in the company of one.

He was uninterested in other girls. I saw Jessica throw herself at him daily, but he only politely smiled. A gentleman. You don't see too many seventeen year old boys like that.

I watched him like that for weeks. It was, like I said, an unconscious thing. I hardly knew I was doing it. He wasn't anything out of the ordinary or terribly interesting but I was—and I say this with a defeated sigh—comforted by him. Strange, I didn't understand it. But, I did it anyway.

Soon, I started to hear Edward asking about me. Me and my family. Asking normal questions, but his voice had an edge to it. People were normally curious about us but he wasn't just curious… he was intrigued. The others heard him too. Jasper was growing intensely suspicious. 

He had lived most of his afterlife surrounded by death, destruction, mutiny, and betrayal…he was the most on guard. Alice swore she would keep an eye out, telling him not to worry. But soon, Emmett felt Jaspers passion and—naturally—followed suit. Rosalie wasn't far behind. They were very wary.

It was almost comedic. Like this boy could out us? He was just a kid. I laughed off the situation but deep inside I was also suspicious. But, not anywhere as hostile as the rest were. I didn't want to see this pure heart being beaten.

"He's snooping around our files." Jasper said suddenly one day at lunch. I looked at him sharply but he was staring at his plate.

Alice was aghast, "What?"

"I thought you were looking out for us." Rosalie accused Alice immediately.

She pouted; obviously disappointed she hadn't seen this happening. "I _am_. I don't see any immediate danger. There's nothing to fear about this human. He's just…overtly inquisitive." Even as Alice said it, her eyes held a different emotion. Fear.

Emmett's massive brow was scrunched. "How did you know, Jas?"

"I've been tracking him. I know where he lives. He's been asking a friend to look us up… check us out." Jasper's face was hard.

I was horrified. I didn't think anyone would take it as far as to follow him home. "You followed him to his home? Are you crazy? He's just a kid."

Jasper turned his eyes on me. They were cold. "I don't want to take any chances."

I scoffed. "You're all insane. What can he dig up about us, anyway? All of our files check out and our records are spotless. There's nothing to be found." Even I heard the quiet desperation in my voice. I wasn't sure if I was desperate to save my family or desperate to save Edward before it was too late. Maybe both.

The rest of the week my family spent staring angrily at Edward. I felt bad for the boy, but he really did deserve the glares. Most of the people in Forks were interested in us warily. They were nosy but their instincts told them to stay away. I wasn't sure what made Edward go to such lengths to find out more about us but, whatever the reason, it wasn't a smart thing to do. I hoped he would see the look in my family's eyes and realize his mistake.

* * *

_Edward _

We spent weeks unspeaking. I usually enjoyed history a lot but I couldn't pay attention at all. I was too busy thinking of things to say to her, all of which I never did actually speak out loud. She was equally as quiet. It seemed like she never relaxed; she was always straight and had perfect posture. Sometimes when I would move she would go as stiff as a board. I wondered a lot what that was all about but I came up with nothing. But, all in all, she wasn't unfriendly to me, which was somewhat promising.

There was literally no dirt on the Cullens. No arrests, no nothing. I had Danny snoop around for me on the computer (she was a whiz, think Veronica Mars), but she got nada. They simply moved from a small town in Alaska and came here. Mrs. Cullen wanted to live in a different environment, every one said. And according to Danny, all the records and ID's for the Cullen kids checked out.

Even my father had a basic biography of Dr. Cullens life. He was twenty-eight and they adopted their children around eight years ago, not all at the same time. Mrs. Cullen wasn't able to conceive so they wanted to reach out to foster children. Danny couldn't get any past histories on any of the kid's, but everything else was spotless. Perfect. Just like them. I was sensing a distinct pattern here.

So, basically my search was all for nothing. My snooping and "asking around" went no where. The Cullens were perfectly normal, I guess. Of course, I couldn't make myself believe that. But, I had no leads to follow. Everything was a dead end. I am only seventeen years old, for Christ's sake. I'm no private investigator.

I noticed the rest of the Cullens staring at me oddly recently. Alice glowered, though she was usually happy and perky. It was a definite contrast to the sour expressions she shot at me at lunch for the past couple weeks. Rosalie held a scowl that was equally disturbing. Jasper, who always looked kind of sneaky to me, watched me with guarded eyes. And the most threatening of all, Emmett set his jaw and glared, every now and then flexing his muscles idly. Bella barely looked at me at all; her eyes were always avoiding mine. I wanted to see her eyes again…even if they were black and glaring at me.

Ugh. I'm not sure what the hell it was about her that was making me act like this. I don't usually spout off this kind of crap, but I couldn't help it. I mean—I'm a guy…guy's don't want to spew out poetry to some girl…do they? No. At least, not most guys my age. I was doomed.

Jessica patted my hand as she was trying to get my attention. "Hey Edward? What're you staring at?"

I looked at her distractedly. "Nothing," I threw her a courteous smile. She beamed back at me.

Poor Jessica. She took my gracious smiles the wrong way. I didn't want to outright tell her I wasn't interested but I thought maybe my indifferent actions would show her. I was wrong. And to add to that there was a Sadie Hawkins dance coming up in a few weeks. So, the girls ask the guys. I was not looking forward to that, that's for sure.

It seemed like Mike had his heart set that Bella would ask him, though he never actually admitted it. I could tell, I don't know how. My strange gift of reading body language and emotions is pretty unexplainable.

"Yo Edward, we're all going camping this weekend, you in?" Mike asked from across the table. I had been hanging out with my lunch table for the past few weeks. We did whatever we could in a town as boring as Forks: bowling, movies, mall… I missed the city life.

I was a city guy—born and raised—so hearing the word "camping" wasn't all that appealing. I hate the green so much as it already is—I didn't want to be _in_ it. But, I figured I had nothing better to do. "Yeah, sure. I've never been camping before though."

Mike laughed, "Good. It's always fun taking first-timers out."

I made a face at him but laughed too, knowing his teasing was good-natured.

Jessica was ecstatic, "It's great that you're coming! We do it every year."

Tyler, one of Mike's friends, nodded. "Yeah, we camp out the whole weekend. You'll like it." He looked confident.

I wasn't so sure, but I had nothing better to do. "I'm in." They all looked satisfied. Mike and Tyler shared a devious look—I imagined they probably wanted to play some stupid camping prank on me or just plain enjoy the fact that I wasn't an outdoorsy guy.

--

When the time came around to go off for the weekend I was having second thoughts. I knew _nothing_ about the outdoors. But of course my mother was beyond happy. She loved that I was making new friends and doing new things. Elizabeth did not mind the fact that I'd be with a bunch of teenagers in the woods for two days. I silently wished she would object but she definitely wasn't going to.

Mike took me to his family's camping store and got a few things: a canteen, a sleeping bag, and a personal tent. He said he would take care of the rest. I was feeling a little apprehensive about the whole thing but I bit the bullet and went.

Mr. Newton drove us and said he would pick us up early Sunday morning. We left after school on Friday and packed all our stuff in Mike's car. A bunch of us were going: Tyler, Mike, Jessica, Ben, Angela, and a few others I wasn't as close to. As we were driving there, the atmosphere was exciting. They all loved camping out. They were starting to rub off on me.

"There's the Cullen _mansion_." Jessica pointed past the green trees.

My ears perked at the name. "Where?"

"It's back there, behind those trees. I heard it's huge… I've never actually seen it. It looks kinda creepy back there." She turned her nose up.

Angela, a girl I wasn't too friendly with but still liked, shrugged. "I bet it's cool. Living in the middle of the woods in a big mansion…"

Ben fixed his glasses while he talked. "Yeah, being surrounded by green trees… I think it's cool too." They smiled at each other. I watched them with a critical eye. They looked like they liked each other.

Jessica scoffed, "Whatever. They're weird."

I looked back in the direction of the Cullen home, wishing I could just see a glimpse of the elusive house.

--

The first night went well. It was weird sleeping on the ground, surrounded by the green that I hated so much, but I actually enjoyed it. Setting up a tent is hell, though.

On Saturday, we woke up pretty late and Mike broke out the cereal. We munched on it as he set up a fire. The mid-November air was kind of frosty but fresh. I had never breathed in such clean air.

Mike and the others had made a map of sorts that we could hike up. We walked for a good few hours. We saw a lot of animals, none threatening (thank God). Deer, mostly. Then Tyler made some lame "Bambi" jokes and we headed back. On our way back to the campsite, I noticed a small clearing not too far away from where we slept. It was peaceful and isolated. I made a note to visit it soon.

It was growing darker. The weather had been great for us so far and we were all enjoying the twilight of the day. Mike made a fire and assembled the smores. After a smore-eating contest, in which I was the winner, I decided to seek out my remote spot. After two straight days with no alone time, I thought I needed it. I told them I'd be right back and they all waved me off uninterestedly. Jessica pouted a bit.

I sat there in peace for a while. Though I missed the hustle and bustle of city life, I was truly starting to enjoy the silence of the woods. I heard my group's loud and off-key singing from where I was. I laughed slightly until I heard a bellowing growl from not far away.

It all happened so fast, I can't really remember the thoughts that went through my head. I was frozen in place. My mind was telling me to _run, run, RUN_ but my feet were stuck in the dirt. I watched as a bear approached me. An angry bear.

It was huge with the blackest fur. I don't know what made me stare at him…what made me stay put but—whatever the reason—I didn't move. He was gaining on me on his legs, trampling faster and faster toward me. I began to back away slowly.

Then, a blur of movement so fast my senses barely comprehended it darted out and struck me hard. I flew backward but I was caught by something—hands?—and was laid on the ground safely away from the bear. Twilight had faded and I was struggling to see what it was that saved me. I saw the bear in the distance and something was hissing at it—growling. The thing that banged in to me momentarily knocked the wind out of me and I breathed heavily.

The bear retreated and my mind was whirling in circles. What had just happened?

In the silver moonlight I caught the figure—my savior—turn toward me. She looked like some sort of wood nymph as she stood and stared. She was far away but her face was panicked and afraid. I stared back, completely fearless and yet mystified.

With a deep, begging look, Isabella Cullen flew away.

* * *

Betcha weren't expecting that! Well, neither was I.  
Tell me what you think about my different turn of events. The way I see it, things are different in this alternate universe. Not every thing's going to happen the same way it went in Twilight, but there will be a few similar parallels.  
Review, lovies.


	7. Chapter Seven

Surprise! Nope, I didn't think I'd update so soon but I just couldn't help it. I had a class cancelled and bam—I was done the chapter. So enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

* * *

_Edward_

I'm not sure how long I was frozen for. I stared in the direction that Bella had run in. I'm not sure if I could call it 'running'…more like—well, there's actually no word for it. The speed was almost literally impossible to see with your eyes alone. I'm sure my jaw would be permanently agape from now on.

What. Just. Happened.

My first thoughts were that I was right…there was something weird about the Cullens—or Bella at least. But, that didn't explain just what the hell they were. A super hero? Like Bella was accidentally dipped in some sort of radiation and developed super powers? Or maybe bitten by some super-strong animal? Or had I read too many comic books when I was a kid?

Then I began to question my sanity. Did that just happen? Or did Mike and Tyler actually slip me something in my cereal—that's why they were laughing so earnestly when we talked about me going camping with them. Or—even scarier—did _Jessica_ slip me a date rape drug? I laughed at that one… though, I wouldn't put it past her, I was sure that wasn't true.

So I guess it did happen. Huh.

--

After thinking it over, I stumbled back to the campsite. I decided that I would definitely not say a word to anyone—not just because they'd think I was crazy—but because if I wasn't hallucinating then that means Bella had saved my life. And honestly, I wasn't going to out someone for literally rescuing me from the jaws of a bear.

I rubbed a spot on my chest absentmindedly, feeling a bruise develop there. Bella had crashed in to me pretty hard before laying me on the ground gently. I was surprised that I hadn't felt myself blanch at my own thoughts. Was I really going insane?

Jessica turned to me when I arrived back. "Where'd you go?" She patted the log next to her.

I shrugged, "Oh, ya know…around."

She looked like she wanted to press further but Mike interrupted her. "Hey, where's Lauren?" Everyone looked at me.

I was already pretty bewildered—make that really bewildered—and I had no idea where Lauren was. I couldn't really remember _who_ Lauren was. I wasn't all that great with names.

I shrugged again. Jessica looked at me suspiciously and Mike looked troubled. "Maybe we should look for her," Ben suggested when suddenly someone who I can only assume was Lauren came from out of the bushes.

She looked disoriented and I worried for a half second what she was doing until I caught Eric—another guy I wasn't as close too— sneaking back in to the circle stealthily. Obviously by the looks on their faces they were making out somewhere with out telling anyone. I almost thought that Lauren had seen Bella and I nearly panicked at the thought that she would be in on the secret.

I didn't know Lauren too well but from what I could tell she wasn't one to keep a secret.

Jessica turned steely eyes on Lauren. "Where were you?" Her voice was accusing.

Mike was more concerned than anything, "Yeah, are you okay?"

Lauren ran a hand through her white blonde hair. "I was just… around, ya know." She avoided Eric's smug eyes.

My curly-haired admirer looked at me quickly before folding her arms and huffing.

No one had noticed Eric's missing presence and no one had noticed that he'd come back. So… I guess it kinda looked like Lauren and _I_ had been making out somewhere. I was appalled but Lauren looked happy that no one had questioned Eric—she must have been slightly ashamed to be stooping so low to make out with him. I realized that she was a snob, even worse than Jessica.

Mike gave me the thumbs up behind everyone's back and I shook my head profusely before recognizing this was neither the time nor the place to straighten this out. Besides, I had thousands of thoughts flying through my head—there was barely enough room to form a sentence.

I sighed and told every one I was tired and going to bed. They grumbled in reply and Jessica scoffed.

I was left with my thoughts for the rest of the night.

--

"So…you and Lauren, huh?" Mike asked the next morning when we were alone for a minute. He wiggled his eye brows suggestively.

I grimaced. I nearly forgot about the whole thing. "No, I wasn't with her."

Mike laughed and nudged me, thinking I was joking. "Yeah, right… if you want to play that card than go ahead." He walked away before I could protest.

I scowled for a minute before finishing up packing my stuff. It looked like I'd have to leave it to Lauren to clear this whole mess up. I couldn't really tell everyone it was Lauren and Eric—I wasn't all that sure of that…Though odds were it was them secretly hooking up in the woods but I'm sure when Jessica asked Lauren about it she'll clear my name.

Plus, if I wasn't going to out Bella on her secret, I couldn't out Lauren either.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a nice guy.

Jessica decided to ignore me for the rest of the morning until Mike's dad picked us up. The ride home was strangely silent and kind of eerie. I guess I wasn't the only one with a lot on their mind—Ben and Angela were making googly eyes at each other. Maybe they figured out that they liked one another. And Eric—who was arrogant last night—looked down right pissed. I guess Lauren _really_ didn't want anyone to know about them.

Great. Just great.

* * *

_Bella_

I wasn't sure how long I'd been running or even why. Nothing was going to change the fact that I had just ruined everything. I would have to arrive home and receive the brunt of everyones anger. Alice had surely seen everything by now.

I was so stupid—so _childish_. I had no idea that Edward and his friends would be camping nearby our hunting grounds or I never would have ventured there. I was used to avoiding campers and hunters alike, so it didn't faze me when I heard and smelled their presence. I wasn't paying much attention to them but when the bear I was leisurely following came upon a clearing, I hesitated.

I heard a steady and peaceful heartbeat and stopped immediately from following. That's when a breeze blew his scent to me—freezing me solid. Edward was in danger. I watched the bear gain on him as he stood in place, looking like he was scared stiff. I begged him silently to run. I felt the bear's angry aura and knew this would end up with a severely injured—or dead—Edward.

Just the thought of his heavenly blood being exposed to my nose was too much to bear. It would be so easy to let this irate animal maul him and then let myself finish him off. Then maybe I would get some peace from the absolute hell his fragrance was to me. And no one would suspect me—not a soul. The bear claws and marks would be proof enough.

I waited—my head was telling me to wait until he was near death. The demon inside me laughed joyously. The venom was sticky in my throat.

My heart was an entirely different story.

My cold, icy, dead heart: It bled for him. A pure soul—an innocent life. I had killed so many—could I just stand by and let his light go out in front of me? Just because I was thirsty? Just because his blood called out to me?

I listened intently to my conscience—the part of me that was still human. No. Absolutely no.

But that left one thing: saving him. How could I go about this in which I could keep my secret?

There was barely enough time left. The bear was on his legs, towering over Edward. Despite the speed of my mind, I couldn't navigate a plan in time. I did what I had to do.

In my haste, I used too much force to slam in to him. His body bent against mine. I winced, hoping I didn't break anything internally. I caught him easily and laid him far, far away from the bear. Then I sprinted to the animal, his teeth barred. I let out a low growl and a high-pitched hiss, forcing him to retreat.

Even animals sensed the power in us and were generally afraid. The bear backed off easily. I was alone in the moonlight. I knew full well that there was no way around this.

I turned to him, hoping that I hadn't caused any damage. He looked fine, if not befuddled. My thoughts were wild and afraid—afraid of what he might think or say. I felt the tension of my face and the desperation in my eyes. I begged him to be silent, to not tell a soul.

I was still running from him—from my actions. I had a stronger will than I had thought.

When I reluctantly arrived home, Alice was waiting for me at the steps. Her face was pained. She was worried for me and she was troubled. I'm sure my facial expression mirrored hers.

"Does everyone know?" I asked, my voice almost breaking.

Alice nodded and stood in front of me. "Yes. They're waiting in the dining room." She took my hand and we walked in together.

The massive dining room had a long wooden dinner table. It was beautiful but it was simply a prop—something to make us look human. I had never thought we'd ever be sitting here like this.

Carlisle was at one head of the table with Esme by his side, their hands intertwined. Jasper, Emmett, and Rose sat on the other side. Jaspers face was a cool mask but his features were almost too cool; his face was a façade of what he really was feeling, as usual. Emmett held a similar expression with Alice—they were nervous. I knew Emmett didn't want to hurt me in any way and I was sure he was anxious about this discussion. Rosalie's face was plain livid. Her eyes were narrowed and her back was dangerously straight. She was certainly not afraid of hurting me.

They didn't look at me when we entered. They knew I had arrived.

I looked to Carlisle and Esme. Esme gave me a sad smile and patted the seat beside her. I let out a slightly relieved sigh. I was afraid that I would be abandoned altogether. Carlisle took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

Alice stood in the middle of both sides, her posture stiff. She looked like she might dart either way at any moment.

"Bella, what the hell were you thinking?" Rosalie said through clenched teeth.

I kept my head high. "I couldn't let him die. I couldn't watch an innocent life be smashed before my eyes."

She wasn't finished with me yet. "Don't you see? We are doomed now. We must leave immediately!"

I bowed my head. She was right. Carlisle's voice was clear and unyielding, "That's not necessarily true, Rosalie."

Emmett was shocked now. "What do you mean? She showed him her powers…He's not going to stay silent."

Esme shook her caramel hair next to me. "Think about it. He was the only one who saw Bella. People would consider him crazy if he were to say anything. We don't have to be so hasty with our decision to leave…or to stay."

Rosalie was astonished; she slammed her hands on the table angrily. "Stay? We can't possibly stay!"

I looked at Carlisle and Esme with astounded eyes. This I had not expected. "Alice doesn't see anything that is forcing us to leave. You will go to school and act normal until we receive some sort of warning." The tone in Carlisle's voice was final.

Jasper, who had been silent this entire time, cleared his throat. "It's not that simple, Carlisle. This boy knows our secret—he can't be kept alive."

I gasped. "_What_?"

Jasper's eyes met mine head on. "We must kill him. He knows about us…about our kind. If we don't kill him the Volturi surely will."

My laugh held no humor. "How will they know about him if he doesn't tell anyone? Don't you think you're overacting?"

"You know as well as I that the Volturi have powers that we don't know of. Some way…some how…they will find out." Jasper's face was pleading mine. He wasn't a hard stone anymore—he was worried too. I knew he cared about me as well as anyone else and he didn't want me hurt. I tried to tell myself that but I could only see the decided look in his eyes. He wanted Edward dead.

Something inside me clicked. I didn't want Edward dead. Maybe it wasn't just that I didn't want to see a human die again in front of me… maybe I didn't want _Edward_ to die. I sighed pathetically. God help me. "I can't kill Edward."

"You won't have to, I will." Jasper said solemnly.

"I won't let you." Everyone looked at me, shocked. It was one thing to defend a human but to literally go against your family—your coven—for one was preposterous.

My decision was set with a steely resolve. I don't know what it was I felt for Edward—maybe I was just defending a boy who was harmless—but whatever the case was, I would not let something happen to him.

Jasper raised his eyebrows, "I won't fight you, Bella. This is what's best for us."

I was about to retort something back when Alice made a noise of recognition. Her gaze was blurry-eyed and wild—she was having a vision.

Jasper slid to her side immediately with a large hand on her shoulder. "What is it?"

Alice's dreamy eyes were on mine. I stared back readily. "Jasper," she said when her eyes looked fairly normal again. "You can't kill Edward."

Jaspers brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"He's going to be our friend," Her voice was happy.

I flinched. "What—"

She continued, "Edward's going to…be apart of us…somehow."

Rosalie was steaming, her fists were clenched. "_What did you see_?" Her usually pleasant voice was a low hiss.

Alice cleared her throat and shook her head. "I saw Edward and Bella… and Edward and Emmett with Jasper and I…He was our friend. We're going to be friends."

Emmett cocked his head to the side and said, "You mean—he's going to be one of _us_ or what?"

_One of us_. I shivered pathetically. No, there was no way. I wouldn't allow it.

My petite sister shook her head again; her expression was as puzzled as the rest of us. "I'm not sure. This future is shadowy… It could go either way."

Carlisle seemed satisfied with this. I knew he was as against the loss of an innocent life as much as I was—especially the life of his acquaintance's son. Dr. Masen was an amiable man, and 

Carlisle enjoyed his company. "We will wait," He gave Rosalie a pointed look. "If Alice sees something change than we will do what we must accordingly." Then he looked to Jasper, "And no one will die. There's no reason for bloodshed." Jasper nodded soberly.

I closed my eyes in reprieve. Things could have gone worse—much worse.

At least Edward got to keep his life in all this.

I had a fleeting thought about what I was going to say to Edward tomorrow…I came up with nothing.

* * *

_Edward_

I decided last night that today I would talk to Bella. I would go up to her and force her to tell me what the hell was going on. I think I deserve that much.

I parked and walked leisurely toward the entrance doors. The Cullen's Volvo was there unusually early. I stared at it as I walked until I heard a beautiful voice call me out of my stupor, "Edward."

I halted at once. I recognized the voice. I wondered if I could ever forget it. I turned to my right to find Bella standing beside me, her gorgeous face looking at me anxiously.

"Bella…" I started but suddenly she was moving, her stride strangely fast for her small legs. Oh wait—she's actually a hundred times faster than this.

She wasn't looking at me as she spoke, "I'm sure you have some questions for me."

I nodded and laughed slightly, "A few."

Then she stopped again, her face was pained. "I can't answer them. Please understand that I can't explain everything but…just know that you're safer not knowing."

Maybe she _was_ a super-hero. "What do you mean 'safer'?"

"You're just safer altogether not knowing me…" She looked in to my eyes. Her eyes were sad and tight—like she was in physical pain.

My thoughts were of her. Was she in trouble? "Are you in trouble?"

She started to walk away while I stood there helplessly. "No, don't worry about me." And then she was gone as quickly as she was beside me.

I shook my head. There was no way she was getting away with that. I wasn't going to back down so easily.

--

Lunch went by quick. Jessica interchanged staring at Lauren and me throughout the whole meal. I was too preoccupied watching the Cullen's table to really care. On the outside, the Cullen's looked their normal selves: playing with their food and absentmindedly talking to one another. But to me, I saw their unusually tense postures and hard eyes. They knew I knew.

This was beyond weird.

Mike and I walked to class slowly. Mike complained heavily about how boring World History was. I shrugged but left out how much I actually enjoyed it. I was more than ready to bombard Bella with questions now—I wasn't nervous…well, at least not too nervous.

My heart sped as I entered the class, which was a common thing when Bella was in view. Hell, it happened even when she was in my _thoughts_. We eyed each other steadily as I sat down. She was in her usual stiff position.

"You have to tell me what the hell happened on Saturday." I tried to make my voice sound stern.

Bella stared straight ahead. "I saved your life. Isn't that enough for you?"

I disregarded the question. "Are you a super-hero or something?" I kept my voice at a whisper.

Her following laugh was harsh. "Hardly."

"Can't you tell anyone? If I told someone—"

She turned her amber eyes on me. "No one would believe you." Her voice was icy.

For some reason, I wanted to turn this conversation to a lighter subject. I didn't like the frown on her face. "Are you Superman's distant relative?"

Her lips twitched. I continued, "Spiderman's daughter?" I went on with a few more until finally she laughed a little.

"Batgirl, actually." She gave me a small smile.

I gave her a crooked grin, "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

Bella flipped her hair over her shoulder and turned fully toward me. For a moment, I was breathless. Did she have to do that? Completely dazzle me? I _was_ on a roll!

"Edward, I'm serious. This is…strangely complicated." Her face was grave again.

Strangely complicated, yeah that was true. I nodded but tried to keep a happy face on. "Right well, this isn't going to stop me, you know."

She looked shocked at my words. "What do you mean?"

I reveled in her surprise because it seemed like nothing would faze her. "I'm not going anywhere. And we will sit in these seats _every_day for the rest of the year," I feigned a sigh, "So pretty much…you're stuck with me. And I don't plan on letting you off that easy." I said flippantly.

Bella raised a fine eyebrow but as she opened her mouth to protest, Mr. Johnson cleared his throat and started class. He started discussing early WWI in America and Europe. I drowned out his droning by replaying the scene in my head over and over again. I had actually talked to her—and didn't make an ass out of myself.

"Mr. Masen?"

"Huh?" I was taken out of my euphoric haze by Mr. Johnson's voice.

"HMS Dreadnought," Bella whispered so low to me I knew that no one else had heard her.

Mr. Johnson was starting to look angry before I blurted out, "Uh… the HMS Dreadnought."

My teacher looked appeased and continued on. I looked at Bella. She was laughing quietly to herself. Great. I ruined it all.

I'll get her next time.

Yup, there will be a next time because she's going to explain everything to me one way or another. I can be an annoying son of a bitch when I want to be.

* * *

Hehehe, Edward's fun.

Anyway, review and tell me what you think. Good way to continue? Crappy way? Let me know, I'm curious.

There's much more to come! At least, I think there is. The storyline changes every day for me. Right now I have a lot more to tell.

All of you who read this, **review**!


	8. Chapter Eight

Yeah, it's taken a while to update but this chapter was really hard. It's the final 'will they, won't they' chapter. It's kind of short, but the next one should be longer. Things get much more fluffy/interesting from here on out. Plus, Edward still needs to figure out just what the hell Bella is.

* * *

_Bella_

I didn't expect Edward to be so genial to me. I actually thought he'd be frightened by my powers. But, he acted like this was some sort of game—like if he teased me enough I would tell him my secret.

Fat chance.

He was actually quite funny without even noticing. Sometimes his eyes would get kind of spacey and he would have to shake his head and heave a sigh before speaking to me. I wondered sometimes what that was about. But, I'm sure he often wondered why when he leaned too close I would bend in the opposite direction as if we were tied by two different strings.

Edward would corner me at every possible chance—which wasn't a lot but seemed frequent to me. Someone might think I would be in agony over it: To have him so close at so many times in the day was uncomfortable, to say the least. But on the flip side of things…he made me laugh. Unintentionally. He would try to act suave and then do something completely idiotic. He seemed to enjoy the fact that I was laughing at him, though his cheeks would redden slightly. I was all too aware of that.

My siblings were bemused by mine and Edward's relationship. Rosalie thought I was being irresponsible. Alice was more than delighted and Jasper and Emmett gave Edward deadly stares—I guess they thought they were being protective. Hah! Edward couldn't hurt a fly.

I guess you could say that I was also perplexed by what was going on with Edward and me. It was odd and surprising. I felt light around him—like a new person. Like an _actual_ person instead of a creature. I knew what I was feeling was wrong…If Edward were to know what I actually was what would he think? Would he still be trying to talk to me? Would he still want to make me laugh?

Esme seemed to notice that change in me. She was ecstatic by my happier aura.

I felt myself missing Edward when I wasn't at school. _That_ was a strange feeling… I had never missed a human or felt anything for one. I wondered what his house was like…what Chicago was like…if he missed it or had other friends…I wanted to know more about him.

Just like I had before the incident, I listened to Edward. I listened to him during lunch…It seemed that Jessica was upset with him. For a whole week she didn't speak to him—but it seemed Edward barely realized. Mike noticed and asked if it was because of Lauren. A mysterious feeling shot through my veins…a foreign emotion. Jealousy.

I laughed immediately. Me? _Jealous?_ I couldn't remember the last time I was jealous. And jealous of who? Lauren? She was as despicable as Jessica—even more so. Why should I be jealous? I realized then and there that I cared for Edward. The thought dawned on me like the sun rising over a mountain. I _felt_ for Edward. And more than just me feeling sorry for him or admiring him for his pure heart—it was much more than that. I was absolutely doomed to hell.

Of course I decided at that moment that I must completely ignore Edward from now on. I couldn't let this feeling grow or develop—or even let Edward feel something akin to it for me.

I went through with it for a few weeks. Edward was obviously saddened by my disregard of him but he continued to try. My heart gave a painful lurch every time I heard his voice. I was feeling worse than before. And Edward looked somewhat gloomy as well.

After hearing the first five minutes of his nervous pestering, I cracked pathetically. "Edward…"

He perked up, "Yes?"

His heart took off and it filled my ears. The soft green orbs looked at me and I swallowed painfully. The familiar ache in the center of my chest throbbed—but this time so much worse. I sighed. "This has gone on for long enough… You need to stay away from me. It's for your own good."

Edward was perplexed and rendered silent. Possibly he had finally run out of words. We didn't speak again for a week.

The enormity and vastness of my feelings weighed on me that week. I was irritable and grumpy—and I didn't have being thirsty as an excuse because I fed regularly.

I couldn't ignore him. He didn't speak to me anymore and that made me hurt more than I thought it would.

Just as quickly as I decided to ignore Edward, I then decided to throw caution to the wind. If I was going to hell already I might as well do it thoroughly.

Edward was getting out of his beat-up Mustang on Monday morning. It had been about two weeks since I'd saved him but it felt like ages. The rest of the family was wary of him still—waiting for him to spill something to someone. Jasper was always watching—his ears were always listening. But, I knew that at this moment no one was listening to us.

I leaned up against the back of his car as he got out. I knew he wouldn't see me or expect me to be here—which made it that much more fun.

He fumbled slightly with his keys and they ended up in a puddle by his feet. I scurried over and shot my hands out, quicker than was actually necessary. I suppose I was a bit excited—which is ironic considering the fact I was dooming us both.

I jingled the keys in front of his eyes. He stood upright and eyed me warily; his heart stuttered a few beats. I grinned at him, actually showing him my scarily white teeth. His lips twitched but he didn't smile. "Hi Edward."

He pursed his lips and sighed, "She speaks."

"I do."

"Yeah? Could've fooled me." His expression was sour.

I bit the inside of my mouth, "I know I've been rude."

This seemed to have set him off. "Just because you wish you hadn't saved me—" His voice was a loud, turbulent whirl.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I shied back as if he had struck me. "_What_? How could you possibly think that?"

"It's the only logical train of thought these days. You know you've really messed me up, right?" He let out a large breath in my face and I froze. For a moment I just let his scent wash over me—filling me—until I could finally stand to breath again. He waited.

My happy mood wanted to stay. This time I would make him laugh. "You were messed up before me." I said with a quirk of my lips.

I turned to walk toward school. If he didn't follow I swore I would leave him alone. I would never bother him again. I heard his heart—the sound of it so comforting to me— throb powerfully as I left.

I heard his foot steps hurry to return to mine. I took a moment to realize that this was the point of no return. I could—I should—leave him… but every fiber in my being tells me to stay. The crooked grin on his face hovered above me as he caught up quickly to my slow pace.

For more than a century my heart had been a cold cavern—not only because I'm a vampire but because I _chose_ to keep it an icy shield. It felt like suddenly, with his bright eyes looking in to mine, a piece of black despair melted away from my blocked-off heart. The whole in the center of my chest that pulsated constantly eased. I felt like I could fly.

* * *

_Edward_

So I was an annoying son of a bitch for about a week.

It was going pretty well, if I say so myself. She laughed, I made a fool of myself… it was all normal and going smooth. Then she just pretty much started ignoring me. Telling me it was "for my own good". I thought about that long and hard. I asked Danny about it.

"Maybe she's right…Maybe you should stop talking to her." Danny reasoned.

Of course, I never told Danny what I had seen Bella do to save me but… still, I needed advice. I called her quickly. "Yeah, but it doesn't make sense."

"Maybe she's just not right for you. Drop her." I sensed Danny would be no help in this department. She was more of a tomboy. I winced and called Vince.

Vince was a much more reliable source of guidance. He was more of a ladies man that I would ever hope to be. "She said to stay away? Well…obviously you should, man." He said in his easy going tone. Vince with his classic good looks and his wholesome charm—ugh. Okay, a part of me was a little jealous of the guy. It was too easy for him to win people over.

"But…" I sighed. "She didn't mean it…"

Vince groaned in to the phone. "Listen, dude. If a girl tells you to stay away odds are she means it."

I was at a loss for words. Obviously, he was right. A girl tells you to leave her alone… she means it. Just because she saved my life doesn't mean she actually _liked_ me like I like her. I winced painfully.

I felt like an idiot. Complete and utter idiot.

So she probably regrets even saving me at all. My heart thudded agonizingly at that thought.

I was finally thinking straight for the first time in weeks. This is the reason for everything.

For a straight week we didn't speak. Her ramrod straight back didn't once curl towards me…it was always curling away. Instead of teasing words I used to send her way, instead there were none. Not a single sound. Mike was pleased. Psh, I'm glad _someone's_ happy in this ending.

I was starting to feel real low. Even lower than before. I had been talking to her steadily for a week. And it was going great! She would laugh, I would laugh. I'd make a lame joke about Superman and she'd giggle. All for nothing, I guess. I wasn't about to try and talk to her if she really wasn't interested in me.

I realized something somewhere in that week. I knew I liked her—liked her a lot—but I didn't know the extent of my feelings. Not until I had to think about her truly not feeling a thing for me. I…well, I can't say exactly my feelings but…they're dangerous. It's more than like. It's scary more than like. I sighed pathetically. Leave it to me to fall for a girl who was gorgeous _and_ superhuman.

The whole weekend I moped. Mike called and asked to play some baseball with some of the guys, I refused. Although I did like baseball, I was in no happy mood for Mike's puns about how Lauren and I hooked up. Which, by the way, she never cleared up! I guess she really, REALLY didn't want anyone to know she made out with Eric. Jessica was still giving me the cold shoulder.

I drove slowly to school that Monday morning. It felt like there was nothing exciting waiting for me there. Two weeks ago I basically drove ninety miles an hour to Forks High, just to see her. My heart beat against my ribs just from the thought of her. I groaned.

I leisurely got out of my car, fumbling with my keys and dropping them in a nearby puddle. I glared at it menacingly before leaning over to grab it before—bam. A white delicate hand darted out and snatched it. I stared at the feet before me: A pair of expensive and stylish black boots. Bella.

My heart picked up, as it always would with her nearby. I watched as she rolled the keys around one manicured finger, a stunning grin on her lips. "Hi Edward." She said, her voice sounding more inviting than ever. Her teeth gleamed like new pearls.

I grabbed the keys and tried not to smile back. I had to remember I was pissed. She blocked me out for a week! And for what? Right, cuz she didn't want to save me.

"She speaks," I scoffed.

She looked thoughtful, "I do."

"Yeah? Could've fooled me." I tried not to look at her face.

She looked agonized. "I know I've been rude."

That was it. Rude? Hah! "Just because you wish you didn't save me—"

She was horrified. Her reaction was as if I had taken a swing at her. She recoiled slightly. "_What_? How can you possibly think that?"

"It's the only logical train of thought these days. You know you've really messed me up, right?" I let out a large breath. It was the truth. She was messing with my mind. I was starting to think I really was going nuts.

She took a moment before responding. "You were messed up before me," Her tone was playful and lips were in a cute smirk. I stared at her, completely astonished. Then, Bella started to walk away in her graceful sashay. She was putting me through all this and walking away? No fair!

So, she didn't regret saving me… I wondered what the hell was the matter than. I caught up to her quickly at the pace she was going. I grinned at her, trying to think of something witty and intelligent to say but thinking of nothing. She smiled back shyly at me and I felt—for some reason—like this was it. This was the moment I'd remember. Because maybe…just maybe…this would be the moment we actually became friends. Or more than friends. I looked at her and felt like I could fly.

* * *

Awww. Okay, so now they've finally gotten past all the blah blah blah crap and now can finally get in to things for REAL. Yay!

You, whoever is reading this, REVIEW! It keeps the updates flowing and makes me extra happy.


	9. Chapter Nine

Thanks to all my reviewers! You're all very kind and helpful. Sorry for the wait, school is hectic and homecoming was this weekend so I've been neglecting my little story here.

* * *

_Edward_

"Hey Edward," Mike said to me at lunch. I nodded at him in acknowledgement.

He stared at me still. With raised eyebrows, I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "What's up Mike?"

"So… you and Bella were talking." He sat next to me, his posture was stiff but he was trying so hard to be nonchalant. I should've known.

I nodded again, "Yup." I left it at that. What else was I going to say anyway? We're actually secretly dating and she's a superhuman hero? Only one part of that is true, anyway.

"You think she'll ask you to the Sadie Hawkins dance?" Oh right… that stupid dance next week. I was almost happy Jessica was still pissed at me about Lauren because maybe that meant she wouldn't ask me. I wasn't a dance kinda guy—not in the least. I actually hated the awkwardness of dances and dates and all that stuff.

I shook my head. "Nah, probably not." It was true; I didn't peg Bella to be the "dance type" either.

In Mike's eyes there was a glimmer of hope. I mentally winced. Poor, poor Mike. "Anyone ask you yet?"

He made an unconcerned face. "No, but I'm not all that worried about it. What about you?"

"Nope and I hope no one does."

I saw Jessica out of the corner of my eye tilt her body towards us. She was trying to listen to our conversation. I figured she might as well hear this because I really hoped she wouldn't ask me. Maybe she is still angry about Lauren and me (which never actually happened in the first place!) but I wanted to make sure she knew how I felt about dances.

Mike laughed and looked at me oddly. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged casually, "I hate dances…" Mike looked at me incredulously. I sensed I might need an actual reason to miss the dance. "And umm… I think my friends from Chicago are coming up for the weekend. So, I wouldn't be able to make it anyway." Okay, so that was a lie. But that actually gave me a good idea: maybe they should come here for the weekend. I made a mental note to call Danny when I got home.

This seemed to make more sense to Mike. "Ohhhh, okay. Well, that's cool. You're gonna miss a good time though. The DJ they hire for the dances is always bangin'."

I wondered what Mike considered to be "bangin" music. Probably not something I would deem worth while, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I smiled politely. "Yeah, it's a shame." I saw Jessica flinch. I guess she heard every word. Or at least I hope she did.

I turned to watch Bella, who was chatting offhandedly with Alice. Neither was eating, as always. I looked at the rest of them—none had consumed a single bite. Emmett and Jasper were more interested in throwing things and playing with their food rather than actually eating it. Weird… it never fully hit me that they never really ate their food. Anorexia? Nah, that doesn't fit. Maybe something a little more supernatural? Possibly.

My eyes were on Bella again, as they usually fell on her quickly. I watched her run her hands through her shining hair, looking like a supermodel on a shampoo commercial. I thought about what Mike said—what if Bella asked me to the dance? Hah! I can't believe I'm actually deluding myself into thinking a girl as completely out of my league as Bella would ever grow romantic feelings for _me_—plain ol' me. Still, if she were to ask me, I knew my hatred for dances would be no match for my eagerness to simply _know_ her.

--

I took my seat in History, giving Bella what I hoped was a confident smirk as I approached. She was her usual stiff self, though the smile on her face was different today…lighter, maybe. Though she looked liked she was almost in pain, she still appeared undeniably beautiful. Like always, I wondered how anyone could stop themselves from staring. Mike eyed us furtively from across the room.

"So..." I started, trying to pick up some sort of a conversation.

"So…" She repeated; her chair was far away from me but still turned in my direction.

"Mike's staring at us," I said in a low voice.

Bella's eyes drifting stealthily to him and back to me. She looked at me funny. "You're observant."

"I'm good at reading people." I said, feigning bravado.

She laughed, "Well…read Mike. What's he say?"

"Just from the few months I've been here, I know Mike has an enormous crush on you and still hopes you'll step off your high horse and talk to him. His jealousy increases all the time when you willingly talk to me. He's generally a good person at heart and a nice guy." I flashed my teeth at her.

Bella shrugged delicately and faked a yawn. "Boring. That's pretty basic… anyone could pick that up."

"You are unimpressed…Hmm…What to do…" I tapped my chin thoughtfully. She laughed loudly at my display.

"Why don't you read me?" She gave me a challenging grin.

I looked at her doubtfully. "I can't read you."

Bella frowned, "Why not?"

"You're virtually unreadable. Everything about you is almost shut off from emotion." Her face fell and I immediately tried to cheer her up again, "But, uh, I do know you don't like the way I smell."

She looked thrown off by that, "What?"

I laughed, trying to ease the tension a bit. "You're always stiff around me…It looks like your holding your breath or something."

After a slightly panicked look, she relaxed and smiled at me ironically, "Actually, it's quite the opposite."

It was my turn to be thrown off, "Huh?"

She looked deep in thought. Her amber eyes were sad as they bored in to mine. She gave me a heartbreaking smile, one that was just as sad as her eyes. "You smell _too_ good."

Before I could question her further, she turned toward the front of the class just as Mr. Johnson walked through the door. He stared spewing off his history talk as I mulled over her words. I smelled too good? Who shies away from something that smells really good? The plot thickens.

* * *

_Bella_

I didn't count on Edward being as observant as he was. I thought of his words about me…like I was shut off from emotion. The words were true, I was just that. I held back my thoughts and feelings with a practiced ease. I learned it well during my time with Nicholas. Don't think, just lose yourself in you're instincts.

The one time I actually let my emotions out…Opened my mind…

I shook my head as if shaking off the memory. The man whose mind I saw—the man who made me truly realize what I was doing: killing. I remembered him well. I saw his entire life span before my eyes. I sighed… I didn't want to think about that now. That gift was something I was assuredly unopened to.

I remembered Alice told us that it was going to be sunny tomorrow. No school for the Cullens. This was a usually celebrated occurrence for me. School was a form of purgatory I could barely handle but lately it has become the complete opposite. Especially now since Edward and I are on speaking terms again. I forced a smile for my siblings but I was really quite disappointed.

Edward scratched his scalp and let out a breezy sigh in my general direction. I breathed it in, trying to further my desensitizing of him. Fire scratched the inside of my throat, leaving a trail of stinging venom behind it. I winced but continued to breathe. It was getting easier—not quickly, but surely.

Speaking of which, I looked at Edward out of the corner of my eye. Attentive he was indeed. Though he thought the opposite of why I was always so tense around him, it was still quite insightful. I wondered what else he thought and observed about my family and I.

--

"No school tomorrow!" Alice sang happily as we pulled out of the parking lot.

Jasper laughed heartily at her from where they sat in the back seat. "What do you have planned, Alice?"

"Oh, it's not what I have planned; it's what _you_ have planned." She smiled boldly at him.

Jasper frowned, "I don't have anything planned."

She patted his hand, "You will."

We all groaned quietly. It was the normal reaction to Alice being annoying with her foresight. She laughed at our moans.

Rosalie looked at Alice hopefully, "Shopping?"

Alice pondered for a half a second before shaking her head, "No."

My blonde-haired sibling scowled at her before tapping Emmett on the back of the head. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"Baseball? It's been a while and I need some rough housing." He threw a predatory grin in my direction. I rolled my eyes playfully. Sometimes Emmett was too predictable.

Jasper perked up, "You want rough housing? How about football? We haven't played that in a few years. We'll go to that clearing back behind the house."

Emmett bellowing laugh shook the car. He obviously loved the idea. "Nice, Jas. I'll be the quarterback!"

There was a quiet laugh behind me. Jasper was smirking at Emmett. "Good idea. I've been waiting for a reason to tackle you."

Sometimes they were a little too competitive but it was certainly entertaining. I stared out the window, not all too excited about the game. Suddenly a warm feeling of thrilling anticipation spread through me. I narrowed my eyes and stared at Jasper through the rearview mirror. He winked at me before continuing his verbal battle with Emmett.

Alice was a step away from purring, "See? It was your idea." Jasper and Alice starred at one another, their eyes mirthful and loving. Just from seeing the gaze they held, they looked so deeply in love despite the fact that they weren't actually touching.

Rosalie and Emmett were the opposite—Emmett was reaching back and playing with Rose's legs as she squealed loudly. I rolled my eyes. They were _too_ much.

As Jasper's trick of exciting me was wearing off, I thought of Edward. I sighed pitifully. I was a fool. If Edward were to ever know what I truly was… would he look at me like he does now? Would I give him the chance or would I kill him? I thought of the flames I felt in my mouth when I was around him… what would it be like to kiss that? I shivered. Would it—could it—ever work? I shook my head. I truly was a fool to even give it a thought. I could certainly be his friend but how could I put him in danger like that?

But, could I disregard my feelings? I knew I had to. I wouldn't let anything happen to Edward.

--

We told Carlisle and Esme of our idea when we arrived home. Esme was overjoyed at a family activity and Carlisle was just as excited as Jasper and Emmett. Alice insisted we concoct a fashionable football outfit and drug me to her closet. Ever since she joined our family, I was her personal life size doll.

"Jasper has been watching Edward." Alice said suddenly as we were rummaging through her shoes.

I tossed a pair of expensive Italian heels behind me as I tried to act casual. "I know…I have been too."

"Oh I know _you_ have been." There was something in Alice's voice that made me cringe. She seemed so smug.

I looked at her sullenly. "Shut up."

"There's nothing wrong with it, Bella. Though, it is a bit strange."

I chose to play dumb. "What is?"

She laughed, "You and Edward. I mean, you have been sought after by many vampires over the years I have known you and you always made yourself adamantly unavailable to them. And yet here you are, sticking your neck out for a…human. A child." Her statement wasn't harsh or hurtful, it was filled with curiosity.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I was truly just as curious as she was about my own actions. I had never been like this.

She was before me suddenly, her face bright. "You _like_ him."

I froze. I so wanted to tell her that I in no way liked Edward but, I knew it was a lie. "Yes."

Alice giggled girlishly, "I knew it."

I frowned, "Does anyone else—"

She shook her head. "No, just me. Or at least Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie don't know. But, they will catch on. I think that Esme may suspect something. She has that intuition about her."

I scoffed, "No, they won't catch on. I won't let them. Nothing's going to happen."

Alice made a knowing _tsk_ in the back of her throat. I glared at her. "What—did you see something?"

She nodded solemnly, "Yes, I did." Then her lips broke out in to a sickly sweet grin, "I see wedding bells and honeymoons and nights under the stars…" She started to laugh hysterically. Of course she was lying.

I rolled my eyes and flung a pair of Nike's at her with all my strength. Because of how hard she was laughing, she only caught one and the other hit her in the face. It was my turn to cackle at her while she stared at me angrily.

--

The next morning we got ready for our game. Alice had dressed us in expensive sporty gear, looking at me approvingly whenever I caught her eye. I shrugged. I figured it didn't matter what I was going to wear…it was going to get dirty either way.

We ran to a secluded clearing in the forest behind our house. We would definitely be able to hear anyone approaching and it was in between the hunting seasons so it was less than likely anyone would be wandering around here on a Tuesday.

Having decided the teams last night, we congregated on opposite sides of the clearing. Emmett, Carlisle and I were one team. Jasper, Alice and Rosalie were the other. Esme chose to be the referee, seeing as how competitive we could all be sometimes.

Huddled together, we all spoke in the most hushed tones. We didn't want anyone from the other team to hear our game plan. Carlisle was our quarterback, while Emmett was the tackle and I played the wide receiver. I had one of the swiftest feet in the family—it was natural choice to be wide receiver. Emmett was ready to tackle someone so he was also an easy pick. Carlisle had a very graceful presence under pressure so we trusted him with quarter back.

We had the ball first. Alice shadowed me well while Emmett had to fight off both Rosalie and Jasper for Carlisle. I managed to get a few catches in, though Alice was relentless. After the first few throws, we realized that almost all plays ended with Jasper and Emmett wrestling on the ground. It wasn't much of a game, seeing as we were missing too many positions.

The rest of the game was more playful than anything else. Our baseball games could get immensely intense, but this was literally just easy going.

Or it _was _easy going until Alice stopped chasing me and froze on the field.

Jasper was with her immediately. We all followed soon after. "What is it, Alice?" Rosalie breathed, rolling the ball in her hands.

"What do you see?" Carlisle spoke, his words calming and smooth.

Her eyes were still dreamy, but they were suddenly on me. I gulped. "Bella…"

"What is it?" I choked out.

She gripped Jaspers hand as her voice gathered strength. "It's Edward. Something bad is going to happen…Something…"

I was even more aware of her words than before. "What do you mean? What bad thing?"

She shook her head, "I can barely see it. It's so changing…so many possibilities…"

"_What do you see_?" I hissed, frightening nearly everyone.

Alice squeezed her eyes shut then opened them. Her golden eyes were much clearer than before. The vision was over. "Edward's in danger. I don't know what it is… but, it's soon. Maybe a month away…maybe less. He's going to be alone somewhere and something is going to be after him."

I soaked in her words. Edward in danger? From what? I bit my lip and paced the clearing. The others were discussing her vision quietly. I only caught bits and pieces…but they were all perturbed by my actions. I ignored them.

Alice was beside me, following my steps. "I saw it… I don't know what was putting him in danger but I saw it. He was in an empty room alone. Waiting for someone or something. I just felt the menace involved more than anything." She was uncharacteristically distraught.

I heaved a sigh. "I'm going to find him," I stated simply. But before I turned to run the sun broke through the clouds. I watched it with narrowed eyes.

Rosalie chuckled from her place a few yards away. "You're not going anywhere."

I resisted the urge to lunge for her neck but instead stared at the sun angrily. Alice patted my arm. "I don't see any immediate danger, Bella. For now, you don't have anything to worry about."

I wanted to believe her but I was too afraid. Alice's gift wasn't something that was set in stone… so many things could happen in between that may change the future—and ultimately come to her too late. I shook my head. "I can't simply stand here and wait… I'll feel useless."

Carlisle wrapped his long arm around my shoulder, "We'll all keep an eye out. But, for now, we can only wait."

I nodded soberly. Any and all remnants of fun had disappeared from today. Emmett and Jasper looked disappointed while Rosalie just looked annoyed. Esme was worried and Carlisle was busy trying to look encouraging. Alice gave me a small smile, "It's not going to be sunny all day," She remarked, "Some storm clouds in the late afternoon, I think."

Shrugging, I told everyone I wasn't in the mood for more football. Esme looked like she wanted to protest but Carlisle gripped her shoulder gently. She was sufficiently silenced. Emmett and Jasper looked eager to start another round. Rosalie eyed me with lethal eyes. Alice sighed sadly, so I gave her a wink before I ran home as fast as possible. I would wait for the sun to disappear and then I would shadow Edward.

* * *

_Edward_

I was borderline excited for school the next day, which was a strange occurrence. Generally I was cursing the entire drive there. But today I was looking forward to History class and the inane chatter Bella and I would have.

Plus, I watched the weather for today and there was schedule sun! I had literally not seen sun in weeks. It was uncanny how many days in a row Forks could go with out a ray of sunshine. That put me in an even better mood.

As I pulled up in to a parking spot, I looked around for the shiny silver Volvo. It was no where in sight but there weren't always here before me. I could think of a few times when they were fairly late. I shrugged and went on to my first class.

Jessica continued her whole not speaking to me thing. I rolled my eyes. I would have to clear that up at some point, but I had absolutely no energy for that today. Maybe tomorrow or something. I would explain to her that I hadn't hooked up with Lauren and yada, yada, yada. Maybe then she would stop hating me.

Or maybe I should just let her keep hating me. I mean, it's been pretty nice so far.

Nah…I'm not that kinda guy. Damn my mother for raising a "nice guy".

I sat through my first three classes as they dragged on. I was elated when lunch came. My stomach grumbled in agreement. I needed food and I was, sad to say, excited to just see a glimpse of Bella.

After I loaded up on every section of the food pyramid, I crashed next to Mike and tore in to my cheese steak. I looked up just for a peak of the Cullens when I noticed. A completely empty table. Not a Cullen in sight. I waited for a bit, hoping maybe Bella would stroll in late. I mean, it wasn't like they ate anyway. I stared at the door. Nope. Nothing. No one.

I cleared my throat and nudged Mike casually. "Hey…you seen any of the Cullens today? Kinda weird they would all take off on the same day." I tried to act casual.

Mike shrugged, "Yeah, they do this sometimes. On a sunny day, they usually skip and go hiking or camping. It's a big family thing, they all take off. Even Doctor Cullen."

I kept my voice at an indifferent level. "Oh. That's cool I guess."

My companion laughed. "Hell yeah, it is. I wish my parents would take me outta school on a nice day to go camping."

I nodded, my brain swirling with the news. I tried to laugh along with Mike but it sounded somewhat distracted. So…the first sunny day of school and they're absent. Another clue? Or just coincidence? I was completely lost. Just what the hell was Bella Swan?

--

Though I thought about how maybe I was just being paranoid and crazy, I realized that Bella had fought off a_ bear_ that was trying to kill me. If that wasn't crazy, I didn't know what was. And I feel like maybe I'm a little entitled to be paranoid and crazy about this whole situation.

So maybe the entire Cullen family not being out and about on a sunny day is just them taking advantage of a sunny day or maybe…well, I'm trying to find out what the other maybe it.

The end of the school day couldn't have come quicker. I jetted home and planted myself in front of my laptop. Searching random websites, I couldn't find anything that was all that helpful. Until I came upon …a site with an extensive search engine. I looked at it fearfully. Typing quickly so I wouldn't loose any nerve, I put in several of the "creature search" abilities that Bella had.

--Super strength

--Super speed

--Allergic to the sun

There wasn't much else I could really think of… unless being inhumanly beautiful was considered being a "creature". With a nervous heart, I clicked search. After a few minutes some truly ridiculous things showed up: werewolf, monster, blah, blah blah…and then something popped out at me. _Vampire_.

I can't express to you why it jumped out or why it somehow made sense...but, I clicked it. Pale, beautiful, allergic to the sun. All components of your classic vampire. I stared at the website page, a realization dawning on me. Was Bella a…vampire? How did that make sense? I then reminded myself that none of this made sense and this was just as weird as everything else.

What kind of vampire hangs around humans? And talks to them? And (apparently) doesn't eat them but save them from bears? My throat was suddenly dry. I ran downstairs and drank a full gallon of water. When I couldn't go without a breath anymore, I finally let go of the glass of water. This was bizarre. Beyond bizarre. Bella couldn't be a vampire… she was a good guy. Could a vampire be a good guy?

I ran back upstairs and clicked out of the website. I stared out the window, seeing that the clouds had finally settled back. I watched through the green that surrounded my house and thought of Bella. Could it be true? I couldn't believe in my heart of hearts that Bella was a bad person…but something about vampire seemed to fit strangely. I laughed out loud at how absolutely absurd I was sounding right now. Vampire. Hmm. Maybe I would wake up tomorrow in Chicago and this would be all a dream… or maybe I would wake up in a mental hospital. I ran a hand through my hair… Either way, I did not encourage those scenarios because then I wouldn't even know Bella. She couldn't just be a figment of my imagination. I wasn't that colorful…she was just too elaborate for my brain to have thought up.

I sighed unhappily. Ever since I put one foot in Forks my whole world was upside down. I tapped the water glass thoughtfully…Maybe that was a good thing.

* * *

Sorry sorry sorry, I am too busy for anything these days! I literally wrote this in a hurry just so I could get it out there. The end is a bit rushed, but bear with me here… Everything is starting to unravel! What is going to happen next?!

Okay, now review. Help me out, I've had a bad few weeks and I need your love!


	10. Chapter Ten

_Bella_

I sat with my legs folded in a tree outside Edward's window the entire night. I made sure I was in a decidedly hidden and dark spot so no one would see me—especially not Edward. I tried not to watch him from where I was but it was difficult. There was little to entertain me and I was inherently interested in what Edward did at home. I listened to him as he talked to his friends—a girl named Danny—about coming to visit this weekend. She and their friend Vince were busy with separate previous engagements but they promised in two weeks they would be here to explore Forks.

I found myself even more curious about Edward's friends after he talked to them briefly. I hadn't really thought about if he had friends in Chicago—sometimes human normality's slipped my mind.

Danny sounded like a sarcastic girl who obviously knew Edward very well. I frowned at the strange feeling rising in me—jealousy again. I didn't understand how easily Edward brought out the human feelings in me. I let out a tortured sigh as I slid through Edward's window—he had long been asleep.

I looked around the room slowly. There were still boxes of things left out from the move, though he had been here more than three months. I laughed quietly at that—it seemed like something he would do. I ran my fingers over the pictures along his dresser. Pictures of him, a young girl and boy. I giggled at the picture of him at such a young age—he had wide rimmed glasses on.

A long sigh came from Edward's slightly parted lips and he shifted in his sleep. I breathed in his scent that was everywhere. It was much easier… much, much easier but the demon in me still growled hungrily. I looked at his sleeping face—he looked so young and innocent even in sleep. The moonlight was spread on his interesting hair. It was adorably messy from sleep and I yearned to touch it. My hand started to drift to his copper hair unconsciously but I drew back when I finally realized what I was doing.

With a defeated last glance back at him, I slid back out his window and in to the tree.

--

In my boredom, I came up with a purely brilliant idea to keep Edward in my sight at almost all times. In the wee hours of the morning, I flew to his car and twiddled recklessly with the engine under the hood. I was no car expect like Rosalie but I knew if you mess with something under there, things usually don't turn out well.

Tomorrow morning I would just "happen" to come to Edward's aid when he needed a ride to school. I smiled tentatively. From my spot in the tree I watched the hints of sunlight peak through the trees. It was my sign to leave. I ran home quickly, trying to get out of my ridiculous "football" clothes.

No one was to be seen when I entered the house but I heard Rosalie and Alice primping themselves for a day of school. I hurried to my room to find a pair of jeans, a dark blue shirt, leather jacket and ankle boots left out for me. "Thanks, Alice." I said, knowing she would hear me. She always picked out some ridiculously fashionable outfit for me in the mornings. I was not in to clothes and never knew what to wear and she enjoyed dressing me up.

I put them on swiftly before checking myself in the mirror. The clothes looked fine but my hair—I paused to stare at it. I lifted a hand to_ try_ and fix it when suddenly Alice was behind me. Her face was smiling anxiously at me in the mirror. I rolled my eyes and shrugged, "Okay, fine." I accepted her silent request to do something with my hair.

I waited impatiently as she twiddled and twirled strands before fluffing it and then sighing contently. I rose to leave when I realized I couldn't drive everyone to school. I turned to Alice, "I'm—"

"Taking the Volvo and Rosalie will have to drive us." She said perkily.

I nodded at her while she danced around the room happily. "You're more lively than usual—What is it?"

She smiled genially at me, but there was something else in her eyes. "Oh, nothing."

I chose not to press her. Jasper probably did something romantic or something…I shrugged and with a wave was gone.

* * *

_Edward_

I was rudely awakened from my dream by the loud alarm clock by my ear. I groaned groggily—it was such a good dream. I hit the snooze immediately and tried to fall back in to my dream. Bella was saving me again from something—it looked kinda like we were in Gotham… I half expected her to be wearing a Batgirl costume. She was flying, her hair a halo around her face. I watched in awe as she grabbed me from the clutches of someone—a man?—and hugged me close. She moved to kiss me…her lips were drawing nearer…

_Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep._

I flung the alarm clock at the wall. It stopped beeping, thankfully. I threw a hand in my hair and laughed at myself. I was definitely not a morning person.

As I trampled down the stairs, I noticed my food was already on the table and my mother was glaring at me with raised eye brows. "What?" I asked.

"You are going to be late, young man. Eat your cereal and get going!" She was shaking a long finger at me.

I shrugged off her warning. "What time is it?"

"7:55." She said over her shoulder as she tended to the dishes.

I choked on my mouthful of Mini-Wheats. "What? School starts at 8:15!"

My mother let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, I know."

I stuffed my face with cereal before flying up the stairs and assembling some sort of outfit. I brushed my teeth hastily as I checked my hair and made sure it wasn't standing up in weird places. As soon as I deemed myself presentable, I threw my bag over my shoulder and ran down the stairs.

My mother was at the door, waiting with a Pop Tart. She was smirking at me as she kissed me on the cheek and pushed me out the door, the treat in my hand. I called out thanks as I ran to my car. It took just about fifteen minutes to get to school from my house—I could still make it in time.

I shoved my Pop Tart in my mouth as I turned the keys in the ignition. Nothing happened. I tried again, this time with vigor. Not a thing occurred. I stared angrily at my ignition. After a few more tries I decided to look under the hood. Something about the engine was wrong. How the hell could that have happened? I knew I didn't have time to fix it.

"Perfect timing, ass hole!" I kicked my tire.

"Need a ride?" I heard an angelic voice from behind me.

My body turned forward so fast, I almost thought I had whip last. There was Bella in her Volvo, looking like a vixen in some high school teen movie. The Pop Tart in my mouth fell on to the ground.

"Car trouble?" She asked from her spot in the shiny silver car. I nodded, still in a daze.

Her delicate laugh soon followed. Bella nodded towards the passenger's seat of her car, "Jump in,"

Though my mind couldn't form thoughts, I did what I was told. I think if she had told me to jump off a bridge at that moment, I probably would've done it. I grabbed my bag and hopped in to the car. She smiled at me as she started to pull away.

"Morning," I said as I remembered that I could speak.

I noticed that she looked happy as she sped out of my neighborhood at a top speed. "Jeez, speed racer." I joked.

Bella didn't seem to understand the joke. "What?" She asked innocently.

"You drive kinda fast… It's—I was joking." I stuttered like a complete idiot.

She laughed, "Oh. Don't worry, I'm a good driver." She seemed confident.

"Whatever you say." I shrugged before noticing that none of her family was in the car. "Where's the rest of the bunch?"

Bella fiddled with the radio as she spoke, "Oh, Rosalie decided to drive today."

It seemed a little suspicious that she happened to drive by my house the one time I had car trouble and her family was conveniently not with her. Maybe I should be more than just suspicious—seeing as that I thought had I finally figured what she was…a vampire. But, I felt no fear. I was more than happy that things fell in to place like this. Maybe I was an idiot.

"So, you're not going to the dance this weekend?" She asked conversationally.

I froze. "Uh, no. I hate dances. Plus, I haven't actually been asked yet." I laughed nervously. Was she going to ask me?

"I'm sure someone will ask you," She said with a devilish smirk on her face.

I was clearly disappointed but I tried not to let it show. "I hope not," I said breathlessly.

Then I remembered how she had missed school yesterday. I turned to her and eyed her with an inspecting eye. "You missed school yesterday…"

Bella's face didn't give a thing away. She simply shrugged and smiled, "First nice day in a while…Carlisle sometimes lets us play hooky on those days."

Hmm… I was definitely right about Bella. I was good at reading people—but not her. Or maybe I'm just not good at reading vampires. I nearly laughed out loud at my own thoughts—I was insane. Completely insane.

"You're lucky. My parents never let me have off unless I'm practically dying of influenza." She laughed at my exaggeration.

Bella turned her depthless amber eyes on me suddenly, "Tell me about them."

"Who?" I was lost.

"Your parents."

Oh, right. "My parents… well, there's not much to say really. They're just parents."

Bella didn't seem satisfied with that answer. "What are they like?"

"Well, my father's pretty easy going. We're similar like that. But my mother is the complete opposite. She's over the top a lot of the time. Everything is an exaggeration. But, she's my mom. She's a good cook, though. You should come by and have something." I suddenly realized what I had just asked her to do: Come over and meet my parents. Oh. Dear. God. I must've sounded like a complete idiot.

For some reason, this completely rolled off Bella's back. "I'm sure she is. I've heard your father talk about her meals." She let out a small laugh.

I laughed with her, "You've met?" I didn't want to sound like a stalker and know everything about her life, so I chose to play dumb.

"I candy stripe at the hospital a few days a week. It's a bit hard _not _to run in to him. He's very popular with everyone." Bella turned a sharp left in to the school parking lot.

I checked my watch. 8:08. Damn, she's fast. "What were your parents like?" I couldn't contain my curiosity. Vampire or no vampire, she still had to have parents.

Her eyes got hazy for a half a second until she shrugged, "I don't remember them very well. Carlisle and Esme have always been my parents, for as long as I can remember."

I guess Esme was Mrs. Cullen. Weird name...but, weren't all their names a little weird?

After she parked, we both exited the car. People were still milling in to school, some were just lingering out in the parking lot. As we fell in to step with each other, I noticed all eyes on us. It was almost like we were walking in slow motion toward the school as every student stopped and stared. Bella didn't seem to notice a thing. I guess she must've gotten used to having everyone watch her.

As we made our separate ways to our respective lockers, she sent me a timid goodbye smile and I was sad to see her go. My heart gave a little lurch and I winced—I was in deep. _Maybe a little too deep_, I thought as I stood and watched her walk down the hall.

* * *

_Bella_

I felt his eyes on my back as I walked away. I tried hard not to let myself think about my current situation—or how I felt about it. I had to protect Edward at all costs, even if it had to hurt to be so close to him and yet not be able to be with him. I swallowed the dryness in my throat and drifted to my locker in a daze.

--

My first few classes were more hellish than usual. Spanish was especially awful. If I hadn't already taken thousands of classes already on the language and didn't know it backwards than perhaps it might not have been so dreadful. The people in my classes are so completely novice that it's unbearably frustrating. I suppose it's not their fault, seeing as it is their first class on the language.

"Miss Cullen?" Mrs. Rodriguez asked out of no where.

I knew what she was trying to do. She did this every class. Whenever I turn and completely stare out the window out of pure boredom, she usually calls on me suddenly. Of course I'm listening to the entire exchange and know what's going on. "_Es un el miércoles por la mañana, Señoritas Rodriguez_."

It had been not too long ago that she finally realized I was more skilled at speaking the language than she was. She frowned at me and turned to the next student to terrorize. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, wishing that one of my family members was in the class so it wasn't so completely unbearable.

The bell rang and I flew out of the class as fast as _humanly _possible. I made my way to the cafeteria to find my family already seated with their steely eyes turned to me. Rosalie's eyes were usually hostile—but this time Jasper and Emmett looked a little angry as well. I frowned and narrowed my eyes, immediately looking to Alice. She shrugged helplessly but said nothing, though her eyes were still light and happy.

Rosalie's ridiculously large and "fashionable" purse sat on the seat I should've been sitting. I turned a sharp angle away from them and sat at an empty table as far as possible. I obviously wasn't wanted. After I retrieved a tray and pushed the food around for a minute, I heard Edward's voice.

"One day of sunshine and now we're back to rain…" He said melancholy clear in his voice.

Mike was not sympathetic to Edward's sadness. "Get used to it, Masen." He laughed to take the edge off the comment.

"I'm asking Edward today." I recognized the high pitched voice as the vile Jessica Stanley.

"A little late to be asking, don't you think Jess?" Angela Something (I wasn't quite sure her last name) asked quietly.

Lauren was her usual malicious self. "Do you think he'll even say yes?" She was indeed more despicable than Jessica herself.

Jessica was obviously angered by this—it took her a moment to compose herself. "Edward _better_ say yes."

"I asked Mike yesterday," Lauren said.

Angela was the voice of reason, "Didn't Edward say he hated dances?"

"She's hoping that he'll feel bad and say yes because it's so close to Saturday." Angela snickered.

I had remembered hearing Jessica discussing asking Edward with Angela earlier in the week—I was curious this morning if it had happened or not yet. According to Edward's reaction to my question, it obviously it hadn't. And Edward had expressed to me his complete disgust of dances. I wondered if he would feel bad enough for Jessica to accept the invitation. A small voice inside of me hoped not.

I blocked out the voices, though they were so easy to hear. I didn't want to invade Edward's personal life.

As I swirled a spoon in my apple sauce, I heard the rustle of clothing and the light click of feet coming closer to me. I pretended not to notice as I continued to stare in to the disgusting looking brown sauce—but, who am to talk? I drink blood.

"All alone?" Edward asked as he slid in to a seat across from me.

I looked up and tossed my hair out of my face with a fleeting grin. "Not anymore." I didn't realize how true the words were until they were out of my mouth—and not just in the sense of him joining me at the lunch table. I didn't _feel _so alone anymore. When did I start feeling so alone?

Before I could continue with my whirlwind thoughts, he was speaking again, "Family feud?"

I shrugged, "Not sure, exactly." I shot a quick glance at my family, "They seem to be angry with me for some reason."

Edward pursed his lips, "Because of me?"

I pondered that for a half a second. It sounded about right. Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper were more than a little wary about Edward. I suppose they didn't want me to associate with him at all. Edward was very intuitive.

He looked distressed…unnecessarily so. I didn't want him to worry about my family, or myself, at all. I tried to lighten the mood, "Can you read minds?"

Edward chuckled slightly, "Sometimes I think I can." Then, as he had his eyes on my family he said, "Or maybe they've just been glaring at me for months and it's more like common sense."

"They aren't very tactful, are they?" I sighed heavily.

"They don't think I would…" He trailed off, unsure of what to say. I knew what he was referring to. He had witnessed my abilities and had kept silent for this entire time.

"Tell?" I offered. As he nodded, I continued, "Well…quite frankly, yes." There was no use in lying.

Edward shook his head quickly, "I wouldn't. I mean…not only would I look utterly insane but… I wouldn't…" He swallowed a thump in his throat, "do that…to you."

My heart broke slowly. The raw look on his face was bewildering. Perhaps he wasn't just growing a harmless crush on me… I squelched the thought immediately—no need to get my hopes up. Especially if he would ever find out what I truly was.

We were silent for a moment. There was nothing to say.

"It doesn't look like you enjoy applesauce." He said with a mirthful hint in his voice.

I laughed, "Not exactly."

"What do you like?" He took a massive bite out of his sandwich.

Blood. "None of the stuff they have here." Edward continued to eat with an unrelenting vigor, "It doesn't look like you can say the same."

He chomped quickly and swallowed, "I like any and all food. My mother calls me a human garbage disposal," He paused, looking as if he was thinking of some far away memory, "Isn't she clever?" I heard the dripping sarcasm in his voice.

I wondered if my mother and father ever teased me. I was a klutzy human—I remembered that. Carlisle and Esme often ribbed me about my affinity for stalking my prey for longer than necessary. I mentally grimaced—that wasn't exactly something I could bring up in this conversation.

"Bella?" His voice was almost pleading.

I furrowed my brow in concern, "Yes?"

"Will you ever…ya know, tell me?" Edward looked nervous.

And we're back to this subject. I should've known he would quit teasing me about it and finally just ask eventually. "Edward—"

The bell rang suddenly and thankfully, in my case. I stood and turned to watch my family members leave with a sharp eye—each of them starring at me with raised eyebrows. Edward came to stand next to me, the heat from his body radiating like a lamp. I held my breath as a student passed us by, sending Edward's smell flying at me. It didn't hit me like a truck, but it felt excruciating. My muscles tightened and were ready to spring. My throat was dry. I started to walk away to an open area, a place near a window. I let out a shaky breath and looked behind me to see Edward following. I breathed in again and felt better; the initial shock of his blood had passed.

He followed me through the halls to class. "Seriously, Bella. You have no idea how much this is killing me… I'm going insane." He explained in a rushed whisper, "Actually, I really think I _have_ gone insane. This just isn't normal—"

"I know but it's not that easy. I can't just tell you… It's complicated." How to word this to make him understand the enormity this secret holds?

He was displeased with my answer, "Just tell me now… am I crazy? Have I gone mad? Because maybe I should let my parents know and even recommend a home to put myself in to?!" The last sentence was a loud, dramatic whisper.

We stared at one another in the middle of the hallway. There was something about the way he said that…My lips twitched. I felt the laughter burning inside me. A giggle escaped my mouth. His wildly upset expression shifted—he stared at me with surprised eyes. Then, suddenly, we were outright laughing. We laughed all the way to History class.

* * *

_Edward_

So after she had laughed in my face because of how ridiculous I sounded, we sat in silence in class. Not an uncomfortable silence but…pleasant. It was like that feeling you have after having a good laugh. I chortled as I thought of my last words to her—I was sounding more and more crazy lately.

She vowed to me after class to pick me up outside the gym after my last class. I struggled to be polite and turn down the ride—the walk wasn't _too _far—but she was already adamant that she drive me home. She was almost angry that I would even entertain the thought to walk home.

We were playing baseball in gym. Mike and a few of his jock buddies were hyped up to play—they were excited for the upcoming season. I liked baseball; it was one of my favorite sports. Although I wasn't nearly at enthusiastic about playing as they were (I was more anxious for the end of school and the ride home), I was definitely in to the game.

Mike was elected captain of a team and he had thrown me in the outfield—he wasn't too concerned with where I was playing because he had his baseball friends on the team. Not many people hit it long enough to reach me until Tyler stepped to the plate. He hit a coulda-been-grand-slam but, I'm proud to say I ran back to catch it in time.

As I carried the caught ball in with me to the infield on the last out, Mike and the jocks stared at me with shocked eyes. "Edward, I didn't know you were that…"

"Fast?" One of the suggested, looking at me differently than before.

"Yeah, I used to play a little ball." I shrugged and tossed them the ball.

They all had something in their eyes as they gazed at me—like I was a piece of meat or something. Mike cleared his throat, "Ya know, some seniors graduated last year and we have some empty places on the team this year."

Hmm… I hadn't really thought of that. Play baseball? I guess I could. What else did I have to do?

"Yeah, Edward, you should try out. We don't start for a little while but coach has us playing on some Sunday's…He'd probably like it if you came around to play." One of the said.

I made a noncommittal sound, "Yeah, maybe." As I walked away, they all talked about how great they were going to be this year.

I changed as fast as I could out of my gym clothes and back in to my normal ones. I ran a hand through my hair and barely acknowledged Mike on my way out of the guy's locker room until BAM—there Jessica stood: right in front of me as I was running out of the locker room door.

"Hi Edward." She said, her expression unsure.

"Hey Jessica." I replied, shocked.

She fidgeted slightly and cleared her throat. I suddenly remembered that she hadn't really spoken to me in weeks—ever since the camping trip. Ever since Lauren.

"Um, listen… you know that Sadie Hawkins dance is on Saturday…"

I immediately wanted to flee the building. No way was she asking me right now if I would go to the dance with her. I remained silent.

Jessica winced when I didn't answer, "Well… I was wondering if you'd go with me."

I planted a polite smile on my face. I remembered the excuse I'd given Mike—about Danny and Vince coming to Forks. "I would say yes, Jessica…" Okay, that was a lie, "But, my friends are coming here on Saturday…I haven't seen them in months." And yeah, that was a lie too. They were coming up in about two weeks.

Her face fell but I saw in her eyes that she was expecting this. "Oh, really? Well… that's a shame. Maybe next time?" Her eyes were hopeful.

"Um, yeah sure." This was beyond awkward. I felt bad for her, knowing she had no date. "Hey, I think that Eric hasn't been asked yet…Maybe he'd be available?"

Jessica didn't look pleased with that prospect but she smiled curtly at me, "Yeah, maybe." Then she turned to go, "See you tomorrow, Edward."

"Bye," I called out as she walked out of the gym.

I sighed and walked through the back exit to find Bella's Volvo waiting for me already. I smiled—my thoughts of empathy for Jessica long gone and now replaced with thoughts of Bella.

She greeted me with a dazzling smile—her bright white teeth momentarily blinding me. I stared at her in awe. She seemed worried at my expression until I finally gave her a crooked grin back. "So, what home have you picked for yourself?"

"Home?"

Bella laughed, "Oh, you know, the home you've picked to stay in after you're rendered insane."

I chuckled back at her but my face grew hot. I watched her stiffen in my peripheral vision. She rolled down a window and let out a breath in to the air while I stored this in my memory bank as one of the many clues I should be tallying. Do vampires need more air? Do werewolves like to roll down windows? Ugh, this is hopeless.

"Right, _that_ home. I was thinking about Arkham Asylum… The Joker seemed to like it." I thought it was pretty clever but she only laughed politely—I expected she didn't exactly get the joke. Not a Batman fan?

She was driving extremely fast again and I mulled over what I would say next. Should I bombard her with questions? It didn't seem to work at lunch. She looked like she wanted to tell me her secret…but her golden eyes were always scanning her families. There was obviously something up with that. I was almost growing used to their dark stares. All of them except Alice. She smiled at me whenever I caught her eye. I wasn't sure what that was about.

Then, I thought of a better idea. I would give her an ultimatum—not now of course; it wouldn't be as fun at school if I were to now. On Friday I would tell her that on Saturday I would wait outside my house for her. Bright and early on my front step, there I would be. She could come pick me up if she wanted and tell me all about her secret…or, she didn't have to. But, if she didn't then I wasn't going to be her friend anymore. I winced at how dumb that sounded but it was the only thing I could think of. She would either laugh in my face or …okay, she was probably just going to laugh in my face.

As we pulled up to my house, she turned to me and gestured to the house, "Here we are."

"Thanks," I said genuinely. "I'm going to have to fix that piece of crap." I looked to my car. I was silently thanking it for breaking down.

Bella shrugged, "No hurry. I can drive you this week. My family obviously doesn't need a ride."

My heart flew. Oh, God… I'm pathetic. "Oh okay, yeah…that'd be great."

I stared at her for a second. She was just so—"Edward?"

I flinched, "Yeah?"

"Are you going to…" She was looking at me with concerned eyes.

I realized I had been staring at for more than a second… try a whole minute. I blushed and reached for the door, "Yeah, sorry…See ya tomorrow," I called as I hurried out of the car in embarrassment.

I said it before and I'll say it again: I'm doomed.

* * *

Sorry everyone, I am way too busy to write anymore. I thought this chapter was kind of sweet—the two of them just really needed to get to know each other more. And Edward has big plans for Saturday! That is going to be a BIG, BIG chapter. A pivotal chapter. So stay tuned!


	11. Chapter Eleven

Sorry for the wait! Not only was this a hard chapter to write, but I have had virtually no time to write it. Thanks to all my reviewers! It always makes my day to read your words of encouragement.

* * *

_Bella_

I slid in to my normal spot in Edward's tree. My legs dangled off the edge of the branch, but I was careful not to make any sudden movements that could cause a loud noise. This was my third night watching over Edward's home. No one asked me where I was going and I didn't tell. Esme was increasingly worried and Carlisle was troubled because I had called out of three consecutive days at work.

Alice was insanely curious. She was anxious to know Edward—I could tell. Her eyes were always on Edward's future, of course, because we needed her to advice us if he were to ever spill any incriminating information about us. I doubted he would.

He was doing his homework at a desk with a sleek looking lap top nearby. There was a crease in between his eyebrows as he worked and his pencil was grinding hard in to the paper in front of him. It looked like some form of math from where I watched and he didn't look too happy doing it. I laughed breathlessly as he erased his work with a furious look on his face.

A cell phone rang and Edward threw his pencil away happily to answer it. It was Danny. He smiled fondly in recognition and chatted happily with her. I squeezed my eyes shut. This Danny, whoever she was, was someone I could never be. Someone who could be a confidant to Edward—and perhaps more. She could love Edward openly and unabashedly. He would never have to fear her. Edward could love her just as she loved him. They could live in peace without her struggling not to kill him on a daily basis. He would never have to be cautious of her. She would never be a monster.

I would always be a monster.

I had been in pain before but this was different. This wasn't my usual guilt and remorse for my past—this was something much more excruciating. Could a heart that had been dead for so long finally break? When had I allowed the sheet of ice covering it melt enough to let it?

I never wanted something for myself—I never actually loved someone…other than my family.

I finally realized it. Love. I was not just protecting him from some enemy or admiring him for his pure heart… I loved Edward.

Although I knew I was growing feelings for Edward, I didn't know it would ever develop in to this.

One would think that now that I had finally realized my true feelings, it would feel like a large boulder lifted off of my shoulders or perhaps even a sensation of jubilance would fall over me but…I felt even more ache. I could never have Edward in the way I wanted him.

My chest heaved and my breath hitched. It was as if I was in physical pain. I leaned against the tree, my hand to my heart. There was no movement underneath my palm. I listened to Edward laugh easily at a joke, his heart pounding healthily in my ears. For some reason, I waited for tears though I knew they would never come.

I sat in that position for a long time. It didn't seem long to me, but I felt the sun set and rise around me. I jumped off the tree with quiet feet. There was a lingering darkness to keep me hidden from any early risers.

My mind was turbulent on the run home. What would I do now? Act normal? I wasn't sure if I could. This love was permanent. It wasn't going anywhere. But, _I_ could. I could leave…I would only put Edward in danger if I continued to stay here. Alice had a vision of Edward in trouble—could that threat be me? His blood was still so intoxicating. I still struggled to control my animalistic urges when I was in his presence. He had blushed in the car a few days ago…his cheeks were pink with sweet, pulsating blood…

Oh, God. Just thinking of it made my throat burn. I should have hunted last night.

Alice's other vision had involved Edward as well, but not in the way I had expected. He was going to be "our friend". This was good news at the time because it dissuaded Jasper from killing him. Now, I'm not sure if it can be considered that anymore. My continued involvement in his life seemed to throw him in to more perilous situations.

I had to leave. What other choice was there? Put Edward in even more danger? I was the biggest threat to him. I could trust my family to keep an eye on him if there truly was something hazardous ahead in his future.

I was pacing the length of my home when I felt a small hand touch my shoulder. I shrugged it off and kept at my path. "You're making me crazy, Bella. Stop." The aggravating edge to Alice's words made me halt.

Our eyes met, they were the same exact amber shade. I saw the hurt in her orbs, "Don't leave."

"Why not?" I scoffed, "What am I to anyone? I am no use to any of you."

Alice raised her eyebrows, "Oh please, Bella. You know you don't believe that. This would crush Esme. Not only her but Carlisle…Emmett…Me." Then she scowled, "And you're making my job very difficult. The choices that you're contemplating… they're messing with the future that's already in place."

"Exactly! It's me, Alice. I'm putting Edward in danger. I have to remove myself."

She shook her head patiently, "Give me a little more credit. I know your future too and it's not you hunting Edward." Alice took my hand in hers, "You can't leave."

Something about her last sentence sounded more like a demand than a request. "Why not?"

"Trust me. You'll throw everything off. This is where you're meant to be, Bells. I can feel it. I _see_ it." Her tiny face was earnest and her eyes were beseeching.

I sighed and ran a hand over my face in exasperation. "There is no right move. Any choice I make, someone gets hurt…one way or another." I thought of how I would feel if I had to be separated from Edward. The following sharp stab inside me let me know.

When did my life become so chaotic? Just a few months ago I had been living morosely through my existence and now I was expressing more emotion than I had in decades. I was _feeling _more emotion than I had in decades…

"Fine, I'll stay." I had given up. I was obviously a selfish creature—there were too many strings keeping me here and I did not have enough will power to cut them.

Alice perked up remarkably. "Fabulous. I knew it all along." She winked at me—distracting her for a second—while I crouched quickly and tackled her.

--

After Emmett came outside hoping to join in on the fight, Jasper swiftly broke us up. Rosalie laughed haughtily from a window and Esme looked upset until she realized it was more of a playful scuffle than anything else. Alice and I laughed as the remaining tension of our conversation dissipated. She curtsied at me before Jasper escorted her back inside the house.

I let my thoughts settle for a mere moment while Emmett grumbled angrily about missing out on a piece of the action. "Jasper, I bet you that I could kick your ass tonight!" I heard as he hightailed it back inside.

So I wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. Would I have been able to stay away long anyway? It would hurt much too much to be separated from Edward and my family. I sighed sullenly and ran to my room, thankful once again that Alice still picked out my clothes for me. I pulled a piece of grass out of my hair and winced. If I wanted to make it to Edward's house in ten minutes, I had to hurry.

* * *

_Edward_

Today was the day.

I woke up early this morning and helped my mother make French toast for breakfast. She was delighted with the company and by my good mood.

I felt liberated today, I guess. I was going to finally give Bella a piece of my mind. I was going to give her an ultimatum—either she was going to tell me what kind of superhero she was or we weren't going to be friends. It sounds kind of silly out loud…but, I was hoping it would work. Either she was going to laugh in my face…yeah, she was probably just going to laugh at me. What did she care if we weren't friends? Still, though, I couldn't help but be in a good mood for some reason. I felt like things were going to change for the better.

The sound of Christmas music floated throughout the house as my mother belted out lyrics. I laughed, "Keep your day job!" I shouted before heading up the stairs to change.

I was right on schedule and then some. After a quick shower and a reluctant shave (I always managed to nick myself somehow), I changed and waited at the door for my mysterious ride. I stared out the window patiently.

My mother sidled up next to me. "Don't forget your coat, it's getting colder out." She turned to look out where I was staring, "What are you looking for?"

"My ride," I blurted accidently. Instantly I regretted opening my mouth at all.

"What ride? Why aren't you driving?"

I laughed nervously, trying to think on my feet. "Um, something's wrong with it. A friend's driving me to school now."

"What friend?" Curiosity killed the cat, Mom.

I continued to stare away from her. "Bella. Bella Cullen."

My mother squealed like a little girl on Christmas. I grimaced, "Mom—" I knew she was going to get way too excited for this.

"A girl! Is she your girlfriend? What's she like? Have I ever seen her?"

I grabbed her shoulders, "No, she's nice and no. Now _please_ stop. It's no big deal, we're just friends."

Elizabeth smiled that "all-knowing-mom" smile. "You're just being modest. I bet she really likes you."

I heard a small beep outside and suddenly, both my mom and I were reaching for the door. Horrified, I pleaded with her, "Mom, please don't embarrass me. Just let me go, you'll meet her someday, I swear!" I once again cursed the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. That could be a complete lie.

She saw the desperation in my eyes and let go of the door knob. "Okay, okay. Get going or you'll be late." She patted me on the cheek and pushed me out the door.

I practically ran to the car and the words 'GO GO GO!' was almost out of my mouth before I realized I didn't want to sound like a total freak on this day of all days. I saw my mom from the doorstep, watching us as we pulled away swiftly. I let out a heavy, relieved sigh when I was certain she couldn't come outside and embarrass me in front of Bella.

I turned to her; her gorgeous face was lit with a small smile. "Morning," She looked at me curiously, "You're flustered." It wasn't a question. I saw my reflection in the window—my cheeks were a little red. My breath was slightly labored from the sprint to the car.

"I was dodging my mom. She tends to be a little too nosy."

Bella raised a perfectly arched brow, "About what?"

"Everything...My life… It gets pretty annoying." I rolled my eyes at the thought.

She turned to look at me head on. I was initially surprised that she actually took her eyes off the road and then I was shocked by the raw emotion in her golden eyes. They weren't sad, like they usually were, but they were severely interested. She was looking at me like I was some exotic animal. "Isn't that what mothers are supposed to do? Be interested in their child's life?"

There was hint of mirth in her voice, like she was teasing me. I scoffed, "Yeah, I guess. I just always feel like the adult compared to my mother. She's like a cheerleader hopped up on speed all the time...But, she _can_ make a mean meal." I gave her a sideways grin. She turned her eyes back on the road with a laugh, "You're a strange one, Edward Masen."

The rest of the drive was filled with the soft sounds of a classical orchestra. Although I knew I heard it before, I struggled to remember the name. My dad was a classical music buff. On his days off, he used to sit in his office in Chicago with a glass of scotch and Beethoven in the background.

I raised a brow at the choice though—not many sixteen year old girls enjoy a nice ride with classical music on their radio. Another tally for the vampire theory. Maybe I should be a little wary with a possible vampire in such close proximity. I waited for fear to kick in but I only found my heart stuttering as Bella smirked at me.

We got out of the Volvo after we arrived at school. I noted happily that she was walking closer to me into the school than she usually did. Our arms were practically touching. But, there were moments that her face looked pained again. I saw the severe heels she was in and thought of how I'd feel walking all day in those baby's. I'd be in a little pain too.

As we were near departing for class, I felt the words bubbling in my throat. I had practiced an entire speech last night as I lay in bed (yup, I'm that ready for this), but this wasn't the time. I would let the day unfold and when she dropped me off after school I would hit her with my best shot.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she glided down the hallway next to me. She was watching her foster-sibling, Alice, wave at her happily from down the hall. I noticed an annoyed eye roll in response before we stopped at my locker. "Alice seems happy," I remarked, watching Bella's face for any type of emotion to read.

Bella shrugged nonchalantly. "She's seems…smug." Her narrowed gaze was still at the other end of the hallway.

"She seems _nice_." Alice always seemed fun to me—definitely more approachable than any other Cullen. I recalled the muscles on Emmett and stared at my own arms. Maybe I should join baseball; it would give me the chance to actually get in shape.

With a shake of her brown hair over her shoulder, Bella turned back to me. "Hmm…Perhaps. In an annoying type of way." She let out a small, musical laugh. Then, she looked at me again with her interested eyes, "You don't have any siblings, right?"

I shook my head, "Nah…"

Her eyes were still intense as she probed for more information, "Did you ever want any?"

I opened my mouth to respond but the "warning" bell let out an angry ring. I grabbed my books and slammed my locker, "See you at lunch?" I asked hopefully. Sometimes I felt like she was going to disappear on me or something.

Bella was slowly backing away down the hall, "Yeah," She had a mischievous smile on her face.

The roguish look in her eyes made me laugh, "You're gonna be late for class." I chuckled at her continually sluggish steps. Her heels on the smooth floor made a loud and exaggerated clunk.

She checked the hall for any more students—there were none. She smirked at me, "I won't be late."

I shook my head and headed into my class, which was right by my locker. Before I was fully inside the door, I turned to look at Bella again but she was gone. I listened carefully for her heavy footsteps down the hall but there was nothing. I laughed; she was a tricky one.

--

My classes went agonizingly slow, lunch and History went by too quickly, and Gym was more boring than ever. I practiced my speech in my head while we played basketball. It was a little embarrassing when I passed to the opposite teammate. Mike laughed, "Try out for baseball but stay far away from basketball."

I was hurrying out the gym doors when Mike stopped me, "Hey, guess what?"

"What?" I asked, clearly distracted. What now?

He smiled smugly, "Jessica asked me to the dance the other day. I forgot to tell you."

I smiled back, I figured it had happened. "Yeah? That's great."

"Are you sure you don't wanna go? You could come with all of us."

I shook my head quickly, "No, thanks. Not a fan of dances, remember?"

"Right. Well, see you on Monday." He patted me on the back and made way toward his car. "Have fun this weekend," I called to him as I walked away.

Before my foot could take one step Bella's sleek Volvo was in front of me. I jumped slightly, not expecting to see it. I heard a muffled laugh from inside. I climbed in and attempted to warm my hands on the heater, but there was no warmth coming out of it. I frowned, "Aren't you freezing?" Forks' weather had dropped dramatically in the previous weeks. Winter was in full swing.

She fidgeted a bit but immediately switched on the heat full blast, "Obviously, I just didn't have time to turn on the heat yet." There was an edge of panic in her following laugh. Hmmm…

For the next five minutes I ran my words over in my head again (as if I hadn't done it enough this afternoon or last night). _Listen, Bella… We're friends, right? And friends tell each other things. This isn't going to work out if you keep—_"Edward?"

"Wha—" I looked around us. We were suddenly out front of my house. I snuck a glance at Bella. Her face was amused, "You do this a lot." She commented with a grin.

My face felt hot. Great. "Right, sorry."

She must've seen my blush and looked worried, "What's wrong?"

I stared at her. Her big tawny eyes were boring in to mine—and all of a sudden, every word I had thought of flew out the window. I gulped, "Bella, I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" I kept trying to read her expressions but they were just as smooth as always.

I sighed, "This," I motioned between us. "If we're going to be friends then… you have to tell me stuff. Friendship isn't a one sided things it's—" I'm drawing a blank. "…two sided…" Smooth, Edward.

I reveled in the small hint of shock on her face. She wasn't expecting this, "What—"

Cutting her off, I said, "I know you're…different. I want to know what or why. I think I _deserve_ to know why." She was silent. "Tomorrow morning. Pick me up at 10 AM if you want to let me in. If you don't then, I don't think we can be friends anymore." I opened the door and got out. As I was about to shut it and turned back and said, "I just want to know you, Bella."

I closed the car door and walked toward my house. When my foot hit the side walk, I heard the sharp screech of Bella's tires against the street. She was practically flying away when I turned around.

I closed my eyes. I expected to feel liberated after the speech—like, finally my cards were all out on the table. I was all in. But, I felt worse. What would I do with myself if she didn't show up tomorrow?

* * *

_Bella_

I sped away as fast as possible. Here I was—running again. This time I wasn't running from saving Edward's life from a bear, I was running from potentially ruining Edward's life from myself.

This was the right thing to do.

Edward's speech must've been a sign. He was showing me the kinship he wanted with me—giving me the ultimate warning that I must stop this before it really begins. What would my friendship bring him but pain?

Could I really even be his friend? I wanted so much more.

Alice had to be wrong. I wasn't meant to be here.

My thoughts were blank as I sped out of Washington. It was safer that way…then I wouldn't have to think about what I was leaving behind.

--

I was gaining on Seattle before I turned around. I imagined the look on Esme's face…on Carlisle's… on all their faces. Edward as he waited for me tomorrow morning. My heart wrenched. I had to go back.

I could lie and say that I was only going back so that my family wouldn't be hurt. But I was more selfish than I was willing to admit. This was more about me than anything else. Though, I didn't want to hurt anyone I loved, I didn't want to hurt myself either… Not anymore.

I wanted all the things Edward did. I wanted to know him; I wanted him to know me. The walls I built around myself were so high—too high for Edward. I wondered if he could climb them…or even if he would want to when he learned what I truly was.

Shuddering, I thought about turning back around and leaving. The reality of tomorrow sunk in—Edward and I, alone. There would be no other scents to clear my head. I swallowed the venom that crept in to my throat. How could I put him in danger like that?

I shook my head; my will was more powerful than I knew. I struggled through many car rides and still succeeded. Knowing my true feelings for Edward, I doubted I could ever actually let myself hurt him.

My decision was made. I was a fool… that was for certain. How did I let this happen to me? How did I fall for a little boy? A _human_?

"_I just want to know you_," I repeated his last words to me.

How did I fall for Edward? His heart helped me. He wasn't a normal human… he was different. He was uninterested in the usual teenaged drivel… he was more than that. Although he was still young…there was something very old about him too. More mature than his companions and yet… still fresh and unintentionally funny.

As I was pulling in to the mansion garage, I closed my eyes and breathed in the last of his scent. My muscles tightened and my stomached lurched with a dry ache. If I was going to be alone with Edward tomorrow, I was going to have to be a glutton tonight.

--

I pulled up to Edward's street slowly the next morning. I kept telling myself I still had a chance to back out—but, I knew in my heart there was no way.

I looked at myself in the overhead mirror. Alice set my outfit out today despite the fact that Saturdays and Sundays are the days she usually doesn't bother. Of course she knew what was happening today—I suspect she knew it all along. What was going to happen was something I'd _really_ like to know but she made herself conveniently unavailable today. She and Rosalie snuck off for a day of shopping. I was too busy hunting to hear them leaving.

As I stopped at Edward's house, I saw his green eyes peek from out of his bedroom window. They widened comically. I wanted to laugh but I was not in the light-hearted mood I was usually in when picking Edward up. I was too distressed.

He jogged out of his home with long strides. Edward was quite athletic, though he had almost no idea. Mike Newton and his baseball friends had complimented him on his agility but Edward simply shrugged it off.

Edward jumped in the car but was wordless. He looked at me warily. I stared straight ahead. I was almost angry with myself now. What had I gotten us in to?

"Where are we going?" I asked plainly.

He licked his lips nervously and waved his hands in front of the heater (I remembered to put it on this time). "Go down Route 12 and I'll direct you from there."

"Where exactly, Edward?" I had to make sure I was going to be able to run if I had to.

He was getting angry now too, "Just drive."

I followed his orders and drove past the town, toward the woods and closer to my home. I eyed him with a growing trepidation. Where the hell were we going?

* * *

_Edward_

I didn't suspect the underlying hostility that would be heavy in the air as I got in to the car. Usually, I could barely tell what Bella was thinking and now it was blatant. She was pissed.

I had paced the length of my room the entire night and I was genuinely surprised that she had showed up this morning. Unfortunately, that pleasant revelation was followed by her obvious anger. I was angry that _she_ was angry. Why was she mad?

Her face was in a scowl—a beautiful scowl, but a scowl nonetheless. I scowled right back. She stared straight ahead at the road instead of looking at me. I pursed my lips. If she was going to be silent, so was I.

The air in the car was thick with an uncomfortable stillness. Angry silence. I waited for the familiar place that I had went camping at with Mike and the rest of the gang weeks ago. There was a small ditch I remembered where Mike's dad had dropped us off at.

"Pull over here." I said, finally seeing the recognizable dip in the road.

With a sharp turn, she pulled over and stopped the car. "Where—"

I opened the car door, cutting her off quickly. "Just follow me," I growled.

She let out an exasperated sigh and followed me. I noticed then how very appropriately dressed she was for today—like she knew where we were going all along. Her jeans, rain boots, and fitted hoodie were a definite change compared to her school attire when she was in sky high heels and the most expensive looking outfits. Her hair was pulled out of her face and in a simple looking twist at the back of her head. She looked so _normal_ and yet so _not._ Even her plain clothes couldn't make her look any less extraordinary.

She made an annoyed face at me and cleared her throat. I was shaken out of my daze—I'm sure I had been staring for a while, _again._ Oh well.

I tried to remember the path to the clearing that I had enjoyed for a short time before I was attacked by a bear. I thought it would be a fitting place to talk—seeing as things had changed then and would indefinitely change now. I kept at a good pace in front of Bella, who was lagging uncharacteristically. Her thoughts were clouding around her and she was barely paying attention to her speed.

When I was sure where I was going, I sped up and ventured in to the heart of the woods. Bella followed behind unsurely. "Edward, where—"

"We're almost there." I stated cryptically. I'll admit, it was kind of fun to be the mysterious one for once.

We finally made it. I entered the clearing—still as beautiful as it was before. The open space wasn't large but big enough. It was a broad and clear space in contrast to the darkness of the forest surrounding it. There was frost covering the tips of the grass underneath my feet. A rabbit turned and flew in to the tall trees as soon as I took a step. It looked kind of like a meadow now that I think about it…

She left herself in the shadows of the woods, watching me as I stepped out in the center of the clearing. Recognition lit her eyes. She remembered. "Well…"

"Well…" I shoved my hands in my pockets. Where to start?

Bella was still and didn't even look like she wanted to follow me out in the open. I frowned, "Can't you even come out here?"

"Edward—"

I bit the inside of my lip, "You saved me here. That was when I knew you were something more… but, when I think about it really… I guess I knew it all along," I paused, "Problem is, I just don't know _what_ you are. And why…and how the hell any of this is possible!" I clenched my fists, "Am I going insane? You leave me in the dark to actual contemplate these things. I have no idea what to think, feel—"

"Don't you think its better this way? You're not in danger if you stay away from me, if you don't know the real me." She was walking closer to me. Her voice was angry.

I scoffed, "I don't care about danger. All I know is that I can't keep guessing! You need to fess up."

She was before me suddenly, her face was sad. "Is that all you care about? Just _figuring_ me out?"

I was taken aback by the raw emotion in her voice. It sounded like she was on the verge of tears. "No," I said, breathlessly. "I just…" I guess I had to fess up too, "I think I already know."

Bella raised a brow, "Do tell." Anger again.

"I read all the tell-tale signs. You're pale, you never come out in the sunlight," I remembered the heater, "You're never cold…You're superhuman for Christ's sake!" This sounded so ridiculous out loud.

"Go ahead; tell me…What am I?" She ground out between gritted teeth.

I swallowed, "Vampire."

"Are you afraid?" Her voice was vulnerable, the most exposed sound I had ever heard it.

I shook my head fearlessly. I honestly wasn't. "No."

She shoved me hard on to the ground. I fell in to the grass and groaned. It felt like I had just been tackled by a linebacker. Bella stood before me in all her glory, her gorgeous face twisted with malice. "Did that hurt?" There was no sympathy in her voice; it was more of a sarcastic remark. I nodded slowly.

Bella's laugh was humorless, "I _barely_ used any of my strength." She raced in circles around me, so fast I could barely see her. "I'm faster than you…"

Then she was uprooting and tree and throwing it across the meadow. The tree flew effortlessly. I watched in complete awe. "I'm stronger than you…"

All of a sudden, Bella was in front of me again and I was on my feet. She leaned in to me, her face closer than it had ever been. She smelled like millions of sweet scented exotic flowers. Her flawless skin was even more perfect close up and she was just—"And to top it off, everything about me is appealing to you… Perfect." Bella was breathing on me now and I felt myself falling deeper and deeper under her spell, "My scent, my face, my body." As I began to lean in she was gone and halfway across the field.

"I could kill you so effortlessly right now," She cried out, "You've made it so painfully easy, bringing us here out in the middle of no where. I suppose you probably didn't even tell your parents where you were going either." I shook my head in response. Bella choked on an outraged howl, "If you knew what I was… why would you do this?"

I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to make me afraid… scare me away from her. I set my shoulders straight and folded my arms, "I'm not scared, Bella. You won't hurt me."

Bella glided closer to me again, her facial expression was of indignation. "I've never smelled blood like yours before. I almost killed you," Her eyes pleaded with me, "A part of me wants you dead…"

She was trying to drive this fact in to my brain… that's for sure. I was unrelenting, "And the other part?"

Her anger evaporated. Bella's face crumble, her mask tumbling down with it. I could read her so easily now: the self doubt on her face, the turmoil etched in her skin. She ran a hand over her eyes exhaustedly, but didn't respond to my question. "Bella, I…" I struggled with my words. How to put this without sounding wrong? I was crap at expressing my emotions. "I…don't care about the vampire thing. It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it certainly—"

"It doesn't! If you were a donkey in disguise I wouldn't care!" I took a steadying breath, "I know I said I wanted to be your friend but, I can't just be your friend, I want more than that." That part was quiet and unsure.

She looked at me with wide eyes. I stared straight back at her. I don't know how long we stood there and stared at one another…it could've been ten years or ten seconds. I suddenly felt a cold hand in mine. I glimpsed at our clasped hands and looked at her questioningly. Though her face was still hesitant and uncertain, her eyes were expressing something I had never read in them before: happiness.

* * *

Phew, that was a hard chapter. Yay! Almost everything is out in the open! What do you think of the chapter? I know the beginning was a little heavy and kinda depressing but I was really trying to convey how deep Bella's feelings run…I wasn't sure that I did that as accurately in the previous chapters. As for the "meadow" part, I tried to make it similar to the book but special in my own little way. Gimme feedback, I love to hear all your thoughts!


	12. Chapter Twelve

_Edward_

We had been laying close to one another for who knows how long, our backs on the green grass and our bodies angled toward one another. Her cold hand was loose in mine as she absent-mindedly traced patterns with her finger. We starred up at the sky above us.

"Snow cone," I stated.

Her response was confused, "Where?"

I pointed with my left hand, her hand still in my right. "Right….there."

"That looks more like a triangle." Then, there was an annoyed pause, "And I don't exactly know what a snow cone is."

I let out a small chuckle. We somehow found ourselves watching the clouds and picking out shapes. After I had suggested it she looked at me like I was speaking Japanese. Bella had obviously never played before. "So, I'm guessing you don't eat regular foods?"

"You would be correct." She let out a quiet, but heavy sigh. I took my eyes off the brilliant blue sky and looked at something much more lovely. Bella turned to me as well and gave me a slight smile. "Does that bother you?"

I tried my best to look grave. "Anorexia_ is_ troubling…" I deadpanned.

Bella's lips spread in a self-indulgent smile—the kind of smile she never smiles. I was amazed at just how happy that alone made me. "Really, Edward," She looked at me seriously, "What are your thoughts on that?"

I shrugged, "It doesn't bother me. I could care less." Then I had a thought, "Does it bother you that I'm human?"

Her eyes held something in them, like she was in on a secret and I wasn't. "No."

"I don't know if I believe that." I said, unconvinced by her statement.

"It's odd, I'll admit. But no, it doesn't bother me." She grinned, "Despite the intense urge to kill you, I find it somewhat endearing that you are human." Bella's teeth gleamed almost menacingly in her mouth—but, her grin took the edge off the comment and presented it like a joke.

I coughed out a laugh, "_Intense_ urge? Is it like that for everyone?" I cleared my throat, "I mean…do you feel that way about all humans?"

She shook her head, a small piece of chocolate colored hair falling in to her face, "No, not exactly. All humans smell good but there are some extreme cases. You, unfortunately, are one of them." She breathed in deeply and let out a long breath. "Your smell is intoxicating to me."

"Intoxicating?" I was a little confused.

Bella's eyes wandered for a half a second, looking like she was trying to think of something. "Think of it this way: Lock an ex-drug addict in a room with cheap marijuana and it won't be too hard for them to avoid. But if you lock them in with the most expensive and potent cocaine there is… Things are a little different."

"So my blood is like an expensive drug to you?"

She nodded with a grimace on her lips. "Yes."

"And that's why you always ran away from me and looked at me like I smelled like old socks?"

Like the ringing of a small bell, her light chuckle was music in the middle of the meadow. "Yes."

"Is it hard for you…now?" We weren't too close together but we weren't exactly far away.

Her shoulders rose and fell. "Not right now. When the breeze blows your scent to me, I have to hold my breath for a minute but other than that, I've grown accustomed to how you smell. It isn't as hard to be around you as it once was…but, still…there are some moments." Her golden eyes clouded over briefly.

"What do you drink now?" I was insanely curious. I assumed she didn't drink human blood anymore based off the non-evil vibe I got from her but I still couldn't be sure.

A slow sigh came from Bella's parted lips. "Animals. Generally the ones that are in excess in certain areas."

"Like… deer?"

She wrinkled her nose, "Yes but they're not so enjoyable. Bear taste fairly good… and mountain lion are even better."

I let that sink in. "So, you hunt animals?"

Bella watched me carefully, gauging my reaction. "Yes," She paused and gave me her full attention, "Edward, I _am_ an animal. A predator. I'm not a normal sixteen year old girl."

"I know. Most normal sixteen year old girls only drink the blood of their friends…" She gave me a quelling look. I winced, "Sorry, bad joke."

Bella's face was somber, "I just want you to understand this…_This_ isn't normal. I'm not."

No, she definitely wasn't normal. She was extraordinary. "So what now?"

"I don't know," She said honestly.

We sat in peaceful silence for a few minutes. Then, her lips quirked in a small smirk, "By the way, how exactly does one become a donkey in disguise?"

Bella was obviously referring to my comment I had made earlier today when we were fighting. I felt a blush creep on to my cheeks. With a roll of my eyes I looked back up at the sky, "It was the heat of the moment… Don't judge me." Her tinkling laughter beside me made me guffaw along with her.

--

We talked until my stomach decided to ruin everything. She heard the grumbling and smiled at me, "I guess it's been a while since you've eaten?"

I nodded and frowned, "Yeah… I wonder what time it is."

Bella looked at the sky and then back at me, "About five-thirty…give or take a few minutes."

I glanced at my cell phone in the pocket of my jacket. It read 5:31 PM. My eye brows lifted in surprise. "Nice guess. How'd you know?"

"Instinct," She shrugged nonchalantly.

"Nice. What else can you do? Predict the weather?" I laughed but she looked thoughtful. "What'd I say?" I said after she hadn't responded.

She smiled serenely at me. "Just thinking…It's getting late. You're hungry. We should go."

I resisted my hunger. For once in my life I was angry with food. "But—"

"Tomorrow. We'll continue this tomorrow." Bella must've seen the frightened look on my face and read my expression. I liked her thoughts all the same. "Yeah, I guess we have 'til forever."

I gave her a sideways grin but her beam that followed was nothing short of brilliant. Suddenly, the clouds parted for a mere minute and the sun shone. It was low to the ground but its rays were strong on us. I squinted, momentarily looking away to adjust to the new light. When I turned my eyes back on her, I froze.

There Bella lay beside me, her porcelain skin exposed to the sun. The pores of her flesh seemed to shine like diamonds as the light reflected off of her. I was absolutely speechless. I thought Bella was beautiful before but now she was downright ethereal. In a good way. A stunning way.

Bella looked upset and I was taken aback at the emotion in her face. I wasn't used to being able to read her so easily. I shook off the star struck look on my face and said, "Wow, you're beautiful," a little breathlessly.

The look in her eyes wasn't altogether sound but she wasn't as crestfallen as she previously was. "Despite the Hollywood claim that we explode in the sunlight, it's simply not true."

"So I gather." I looked down at our intertwined hands, amazed at how ordinary my flesh looked next to hers. Suddenly, I felt extraordinarily inadequate. Not that I had ever felt on her level before in my entire stay here… but, now I felt so plain. Why did she pick me?

The sun settled in to a cloud and she stopped shining. I was almost sad to see the sparkling fade. It was as if the light was coming from within her…That everything good inside her shown through. I felt slightly fatigued and dreamy from lack of food, I had to admit. I laughed, "It's been a long day."

Bella's lips curved pleasantly and we slowly made our way back to the car.

* * *

_Bella_

The thing I had been fearing, dreading, and anticipating has come and gone. I was frightfully aware of what could've happened in the woods today. Something I could've never forgiven myself for. Something I would've gladly killed myself for, if need be. In a strange way… that's how I know I'm desensitized enough to be with Edward. If I were to ever hurt him, in any way, I know I would no longer be able to live with myself. There's no question of where I would have headed next. To Italy to beg for death.

Though I hated to think of the Volturi, I would have pleaded pitifully for each and every one of them to pull me apart slowly and surely, burning me with flames large enough to ensure I would never return. I breathed a sigh of relief that I would never have to do that. I was sure of it.

Despite my better judgment telling me this could and would never work, my soul was on a cloud, wandering about the stars and thinking girlishly of things like kisses and hands intertwined. Thinking of love…something I had never experienced before other than the platonic love for my family. Being in love and loved in return was truly remarkable. Enlightening and intoxicating. It was more important than my thirst and the way my muscles clenched painfully whenever Edward drew near. It was more important than the smell that floated in and all around me, like a juicy morsel dangling just in reach of my hungry mouth. I quickly cut off this train of thought. His sweet smelling blood would always be a challenge to me but for the very first time I felt true and unfiltered hope. Hope that was pure, clean, and absolutely plausible. I knew my bearings now in this situation. I was sure I could never hurt Edward. Ever.

Not that this let me off my guard for one single second of anytime I spent with him. I knew I would always be aware of what could (and in Alice's sight of the future would) happen. Edward being turned in to a vampire. I felt a shudder split through me. My mind was dueling on this subject. One side—the selfish and thirsty side—exulted. The thought of having Edward forever by my side and at the same time tasting the ambrosia that was his blood was almost orgasmic. The other side—stalwart and repenting for past sins—was appalled and pained. How could I hurt him? How could I take him away from his loved ones and force him to watch them age and die? How could I make him a monster? How could I condemn his soul? His charming, untainted soul… No. The good always outweighed the bad in this duel by tenfold. I was so selfish in so many other ways with him that I couldn't bare the thought of having him akin to me.

I drove him home with these thoughts in my head, swirling and spinning in circles so fast I couldn't remember where one began and another ended. I side glanced at Edward. His face was looking out in to the trees but his mind was obviously pondering. Pondering the same thoughts as I? I was not sure. I almost laughed at my own thoughts—certainly Edward was not troubled with these things. He was most likely fretting over our first kiss or whether or not he should grab my hand or not—things most people think about during first love. I grimaced. I had only read of first love in books and saw them in movies—I was no expert. I suddenly felt a wave of insecurity. What if this wasn't Edward's first love? I was foolish to assume that. He was a good looking young man with a charming disposition.

I ground my teeth together angrily—for all the experience I had in the bedroom I had none at all on any other facets of love. I was a newborn lamb, falling helplessly on unsteady limbs. I breathed out, nearly defeated. I was already bad at this and I had barely started.

"What is it?" Edward inquired, his face slightly concerned.

I chuckled, "Nothing. I am just realizing how human I really am deep down. Insecurities and all." I laughed at myself. I was thankful that we were far enough away from my home that Alice couldn't eavesdrop on us now, because I was downright embarrassed.

"You? Insecure? About _what_?" His face was incredulous.

I looked at him and shrugged, "Vampires can be insecure too… I guess." When his eyebrows rose I continued, "Well, about the same things everyone is…This is a whole new experience for me…" I struggled with the shy, timid human inside of me, someone who I once was.

Edwards face changed instantly. His look was off shock and surprise. I grimaced again. "This is…You've never…How old are you?"

"A hundred and fifty-three." I paused, "A hundred and thirty-seven of those years being dead."

"So that means you were…" I could see he was struggling with the numbers in his head. Math was his least favorite subjects. He scrunched his brow adorably. "Uh…" He began counting off his fingers.

"Sixteen. Sixteen when I died." I clarified.

Edward mouth hung open a bit. "I never really thought about it before but… it's so young. You were so young." He looked at me sadly, a pitied light in his eyes.

I chewed on my lower lip thoughtfully. I didn't want his pity because I didn't pity myself for being a vampire. I hated myself because of it but…never pity. I smiled at him affably, "Yes but it was so long ago. Don't feel sorry for me."

His eyes were still sad but his lips upturned in a crooked way. I adored that smile. "How did it happen?"

My mind halted at the question. This question was one I hadn't prepared for and answer I wasn't willing to share just yet. I wanted to let the sweetness of the relationship bloom while it could without mixing in thoughts of _him._ "We're here," I said, thankful we had just arrived at his home.

He lowered his jaw in an annoyed way. I could've laughed but I had the right mind not to. Edward turned to me, "I'll pick you up tomorrow."

Hmm, this was a turn in events. "You? But you don't know where I live."

"My dad knows the address, I'm sure I can find it. Plus… I want to meet the fam."

The fam? He wants to meet 'the fam'?! I choked on my surprise. So soon he was ready to dive in to the vampire world! I was flabbergasted. "But…"

"Unless, you don't want me to meet them… I mean, that's okay—" His face was nothing short of dejected.

"No, no! Of course I do," I bit my lip again, "But… are _you_ sure?"

Edward grinned easily, "Yeah, definitely. I've met Dr. Cullen already… and I've seen all your siblings at school…" I could see his resolve weakening with every second. I'm sure he was thinking out Emmett and how dangerous he looked as a human, let alone a vampire. I giggled girlishly. "They don't bite, I swear." I said with my lips pursed together, struggling to keep in a loud laugh.

He snorted and shook his head, "Ha ha. Very funny. Well, I'll be over. What time should I come?"

"Anytime is good. I'll know when you're coming." I smiled slyly.

Edward narrowed his eyes good-naturedly. "Okay, fine. See you tomorrow." He reached for my hand and squeezed it then lingered for a moment before opening the car door and walking in to his house.

My hand felt warm all the way home.

* * *

Hehehe I'm back! Sorry this took months and months to do but just after my last update I broke up with the boyfriend of two years. While this news isn't quite heart breaking for any of you, it certainly was to me. Of course it wasn't anything truly perilous that kept me from writing, like cancer or death of a loved one, a broken heart is an awful, _awful_ mess and I was in no mood to write about two people who were newly in love. Forgive me. I'm all better now. Although updates may be sporadic due to work and school starting up in the near future, I can say for certain that this fic is not abandoned! Now please be good little dears and review for me so I can feel better!


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